28 Jealousy Jealousy

With that, we were friends, and I was allowed to visit the Palace. The chamberlain came up to get his attention again.

Although I took the Palace visit permit at face value, I’m glad that he wasn’t displeased at my request.

He eventually left with the chamberlain and the door closed behind them.

As soon as the door shut, Mother collapsed back in her settee laughing.

‘Hahaha, like father like daughter…’ she said. (Zuben: I was going to say the same thing)

My Mother laughed herself silly, Father sighed as he turned to look at me.
‘You have to study a bit more now. You are in dangerous waters.’

That…? How am I like father?!

♢

When we got home, I received a lot of words from Father, and was told I should reflect. But on what should I reflect?

Now I’m lying in bed thinking about it. But my thoughts inevitably turn to General Brennan. I became a bit anxious.

General Brennan wanted me to be his wife. He kissed my palm. It had made me embarra.s.sed enough to blush, but I felt happy and nyonnyo.

His hands were so big, and he smelled like a forest. And his baritone that reverberated through me and caused a heat in the pit of my stomach, his twinkling hazel eyes…

It’s too nice! General Brennan, I love you! I pushed my face into my pillow and kicked my legs in excitement. Such a wonderful person, why are you looking at me? What a miracle! Perhaps because of this, I have used up all my life’s good luck. (Zuben: You haven’t. it's just the beginning!)

I would like to be engaged as soon as possible, if possible, before the General could change his mind. So that things will be fait accompli. It would be possible if the General’s feelings change. Thinking of the engagement makes me feel impatient.

I feel insecure.

Our ages are vastly different, I have no special skills, I am not a absurdly beautiful. My personality is somewhat…ah~ this might be difficult. I don’t know the general very well, and he doesn’t know me well either. If I think about it deeply, our love seems to be made up of very ambiguous and unstable things like beliefs and misunderstandings.

Yet…'I want to see you, General Brennan.’ I say to the empty room quietly.

We might meet and get to know each other better and think “This person is different from what I imagined,” but I just saw you not too long ago and I want to see you already. Even if I say it out loud, I know it’s meaningless, but I can’t stop thinking and talking.

I want to see you, but can’t meet.

I don’t know how we can meet. What excuse do lovers of the world use? I wonder if you would like to see me too.

I sighed.

My darling, where are you?

My thoughts a like a bear in a cage; going round and round. That thought made me laugh to myself.

There was a knock on the door, I called out and Marie came in,

‘Milady, it is tea time. Cook made lemon pie!’

Tea would nice, but I didn’t feel like eating for some reason. But Marie dragged me to our drawing room. Did she want to eat the lemon pie that much? When we entered the room, I gasped in surprise. The drawing room was filled with bouquets of pink flowers.

‘What is this?’ I asked Marie.

‘They are from General Brennan for you, lady.’ She said proudly.

It’s a lie.

Mother put her cheek in her hand and looked at the flowers with a soft grin, ‘In flower language, the arrangement means “You are attractive”’

‘Why is Mother so detailed?’

‘That is what Oliver told us.’

As expected, I didn’t think Mother was the kind of person to be well versed in flower language. But why would a butler know about flower language?

‘The charm of the young lady is finally appreciated! You did it!’

I looked at the flowers, General Brennan do you think me attractive?! The message could be unintentional. He may have just picked this arrangement because he liked it. Even so, I’m happy.

My face is pink.

I took a seat and Oliver gently set tea and a slice of pie before me with a gentle smile,

‘It’s a good thing, Miss.’

‘Thank you.’ I said as I picked a piece of the pie. I had thought I didn’t want it, but the refreshing sweet-sourness filled me with joy.

♢

I chatted with Mother and Marie for a little but after tea. A little while later I headed back to my room. On my way, I was stopped by Oliver. He handed me a while envelope,

‘This came with the flowers. I thought you might prefer to read it by yourself.’

I quickly looked at the sender and my cheeks got hot.

‘Thank you, Oliver.’ I said. Then I quickly returned to my room.

I went straight to my window seat and opened the seal.

It was from General Brennan of course. His feelings were written out in a dignified handwriting. He said he wanted to meet me and hold me. He had been jealous seeing me getting along with Prince Stefan and he would like to get the wedding sorted as soon as possible. (Zuben: Before someone else comes and carries his kitten off)

Oh my goodness! The letter made me feel feverish and shy.

He was jealous, it makes me happy.

I was also jealous of the Prince who was close to General Brennan.

Lets also be friends!

Chapter 29 Volker: Men who are not good at standing?

I returned to my office because of the emergency. Nicolo informed me that my adoptive father had come to visit.

He has long since retired from the army. He was elderly now, but still very strong and active due to a long army carrier.

I communicated with Nicolo with our eyes, “Isn’t it just my father?”

“It’s still urgent,” he replied (Zuben: They be psychics!)

I went to my reception room where my father sat drinking some tea.

‘Father, are you alright? Why the sudden visit?’

He had never come to see me at work before. He eventually moved from the Royal City to live a quiet life in the country with my mother. And he never asked for much, neither did he come to visit unannounced. So I had a bad feeling about this.

‘I am fine. I have come because I heard a little rumour.’ He replied.

The bad feeling turned into a surety.

The rumour is probably about the incident at the theatre. In other words, he’s come to ask about Fredericka. I took a seat across from him, and my father looked at me quietly.

‘Volker, are we getting a daughter in law?’ he asked directly. My father really preferred to be direct. I smiled, I hadn’t seen him for a while, it was nice to know father hadn’t changed.

‘Yes, a pretty bride.’

‘I’ve heard it’s the young Honourable Miss Castley.’

‘Yes, her name is Fredericka.’

‘How old is she, isn’t she still young?’

‘She’s seventeen.’

‘Seventeen!’

Father was silent after that. I guess he didn’t know there was such a large difference in age. Then my father looked up at me with a smile as he said,

‘You’ve done well my boy! This is wonderful news. The most wonderful news!’

It was the first time I had seen Father this happy with anything I had done. I returned a puzzled smile.

‘It’s been a long wish of mine that if I had a daughter she would be the bride or second wife of the Viscount Castley, but it never came true. And now, you and the Miss Castley…’

Now I’m hearing ridiculous things.

‘Father, what do you mean?’

Father gave me a look and said, ‘Ignore what I said,’ and took a sip of tea. (Zuben: It was a weird thing, daddykins)

During the last great war, thanks to the abundant financial aid of the Castley family, the morale of the soldiers fighting in the war was replenished due to the high quality food and equipment supplied to the army by the Castley scion at the time. It was Mr Castley that worked with the Prime Minister in negotiating a cease fire and eventually the peace treaty.

He came up against a lot of impossible conditions and opposition. My grandfather seemed to heavily rely on the Castley money in that war and drew upon it without permission. He used the Castley money to pay reparations to the neighbouring countries we were at war with. It was a huge amount of money. It was unbelievable that all that money came from a single merchant.

My grandfather, after it was said and done, lowered his head to Merchant Castley in apology and thanks. He was presented with honours that would be given to a soldier that risked life and limb for the country.

Then there was a rumour that the Merchant Castley had loaned the money from a money lender. Grandfather investigated the source of the rumour and the person’s tongue was cut.

Merchant Castley had a gold vault, and that was where the money came from. The King apologised to the Merchant Castley, but he replied to the king with a laugh, “I’m a very good money maker, who else can lend to the King but me?”

Eventually we were able to collect reparations and quickly repaid our debts.

Grandfather fell for the spirit and talent of Merchant Castley, and vowed to repay the favour.

‘But the Merchant Castley was not happy with the rise in rank, on the contrary to him it felt dishonourable for a nouveau riche like himself to rise in such a way. He had hoped that the status of the Castley family would have risen more steadily.’

‘So you’re not against the marriage?’ I asked my father, just to confirm.

‘No, I was happy to hear about it. I will ask to greet her family soon.’

After that, I asked Viscount Castley to inform the King and Queen of the impending engagement to Fredericka. And the application for marriage was prepared to be submitted to the House of Lords.

Soon we found ourselves just the two of us, in her family’s drawing room.

30 I’ve Waited…

The sound of the door closing sounded strange or was it just in my mind?

The room that had been filled with a fluffly atmosphere suddenly changed. Rather like from sweet pink to dark pink!

Somehow I became embarra.s.sed and put a little distance between General Brennan and me on the two seat sofa.

Isn’t my elbow too close? I stayed put but I could not bear it!

‘Fredericka,’ he called in his deep voice, he turned to me holding out his arms.

I stared blankly.

‘Come.’

Come? Come to your knees?!

I could not refuse, his smile was so charming. But I really didn’t want to do that though.

‘Well, then…please pardon me.’ I asked as I let him lift me onto his knees.

My cheeks got warm as I settled down. Right, I’m a girl with strong nasal mucosa! Strong girl! I will not lose to nosebleeds. I cried in my heart while sitting on his legs. There is such a hard feeling different from the chair. Are men’s leg muscles so hard? (Zuben: I think it’s just your man, dear) My b.u.m doesn’t have enough fat to cushion me.

‘Aren’t I heavy?’ I asked.

The general waved my question away, ‘I’ve told you before you’re not that heavy.’

He hugged me tightly from behind. My back and the general’s stomach were stuck together and it’s very warm. That deep forest-y smell that seems to represent him surrounds me, I like it very much. It was such a calming scent. But, the situation was not letting me calm down at all.

‘Ah um General Brennan…’

‘When you stop calling me that?’ his voice said directly into my ear. There was a warm wet feeling behind my ear. He’s licking my ear!!

‘Brennan is my family name, General is a t.i.tle. Can’t you call me Volker?’

His cheek was against my ear. Did he just kiss my ear? My brain was turning to mush at his unique baritone in my ear. My whole body is perspiring.  I suddenly softened, so I was strongly embraced and pulled close. (Zuben: ero ero oyaji)

‘Do you not like it?’

Don’t say such a thing! I don’t dislike, my body is selfish.

‘Fredericka,’

My body bounced at the sound of my name on his lips.

‘Ah Vo-l-ker,’ Oh gosh, I can’t even speak.

‘I don’t dislike it…I’m just ashamed…’ I finally said. I used my hands to cover my face.

However, General Bren- I mean Volker seems to be happy about it, ‘I’m sorry, I was just…’ he didn’t finish his sentence, but I was released.

Ah I’m already worn out…

I was returned to my seat beside him drinking tea. My cheeks were hot. I would rather be drinking something cooler. Because I am still a little girl, I’m very sorry, I can’t handle a grown up erotic atmosphere. But I don’t want to be lazy.

I’m curious.

I’m interested.

What should I do? Should I tell him my feelings frankly?

Yes, let’s do that.

‘Volker,’

He immediately put an arm around me and pulled me close. My body tingled, but I didn’t hate it. Good.

‘I don’t know anything about things like this, and I think I will inconvenience you, but I will do my best, so please tell me, will you?

I tucked my face into his arm once I finished.

But he was silent.

I looked up. I was surprised to see Volker’s face was red.

Is he sick? (Zuben: Well…this is a very patient bear, is all I can say)

♢