Thin
She is too thin.
Her body in my arms was as fairy light as before. I didn’t have to bother with more than one arm, and she fit comfortably leaving loads of room.
The Viscount didn’t eat much, so surely Lady Fredericka did not eat much more as well. (Zuben: that’s what you think)
I’m afraid I will break her, so I could not hold her closer.
I was surprised that the Viscount, who had said he would come round to play when he had time, really appeared at the training grounds. But the surprise at his appearance was over taken by the sight of Lady Fredericka in his wake. She was wearing a simple green dress that suited her well. Her soft golden hair was shining in the sun, and swaying fluffily. She was beautiful in her natural glow; she didn’t need any extra accessories.
The sight of her beauty left me speechless, my heart became full, and then I seemed to have said something stupid and hurt her. She said something and gave a lonesome smile. That smile filled my heart. While I was wondering how to speak to her, Lady Fredericka’s expression fell and she ran off.
‘Excuse me,’ I said to the viscount and went after Fredericka. While it is not good for her to run like that... her running figure looked lovely (Zuben: Beyond smitten, dude). As I called out to her, she tripped. I immediately caught her.
‘Are you alright?’ I asked.
‘Well…yes.’ She replied.
‘Thank you for saving me.’ She said. Her ears, neck and face were gently stained with vermilion. This was what Zuzie had been talking about, how adorable!
I had missed her, I thought, as I took her to the command tent. But I was conscious of the silence between us, and I was sorry that we were meeting in a place like this. It was break time, the soldiers were resting, or entertaining visitors and rebuilding broken practice tools.
‘Fredericka, what were you doing?’ her father asked when we returned to the tent.
There, the Viscount was sitting comfortably, getting served tea by Nicolo, my adjutant. The Viscount looked like it was only natural for him to be there, and Nicolo, who was my adjutant, was acting as his servant. (Zuben: Dude, there has been a Castley take-over and you didn’t notice)
‘You can put me down now,’ she said quietly pushing against my chest, but I did not feel like she was being totally resistant to me. But I did not want to let her go, I want to hold her and cuddle her to me. (Zuben: Kyuu!)
‘I’m sorry father; I didn’t want to be in the way of your discussion. So I decided to walk around.’
I remembered her gradually retreating backside. Did you remember you were going to fall? You had your hands on your cheeks and tripped.
Did you know, Lady Fredericka, that when you fell the slender nape of your neck was exposed? (Zuben: And I want to chomp down on it)
Why did you put your golden hair in so high? That tempting nape would be revealed just by the wind blowing! It was a hairstyle that could not be managed in a crisis! (Zuben: What does that mean?) As I thought of more suitable hairstyles for Fredericka, the Viscount gave me grin implying I should put his daughter down.
The Viscount did not stop grinning. Nicolo was behaving more distant that usual, (Zuben: The Viscount is poaching your aide) I did not mind. Lady Fredericka had a basket in her hands. Could it be that inside it were Lady Fredericka’s handmade sandwiches? (Zuben: General, don’t expire from joy)
The Viscount said it was a reward for working hard. Lady Fredericka’s eyes widened at her father’s words. They had come to deliver it, and did not intend on bothering every one. Though break time was nearly up, I will have it after we were done.
‘Thank you for the food.’ I said.
The Viscount and Lady Fredericka made to leave,
‘Do your best,’ Lady Fredericka said in parting. As she lowered her head and walked away, her hair dancing softly. My chest tightened so much I thought I was going to be dizzy. (Zuben: Enough to faint?)
I will do my best for you, Fredericka!
I feel like I have reached the point of no return. My instincts told me this euphoria would be hard to replace.
14 Conversation between Father and Daughter
‘Father,’ I called as we made our way back to town. I had a lot to ask, but for now I wanted to know, ‘How is it that you are friendly with General Brennan?’
Instead of answering, he gave an indignant sputter and looked at me as though I had been bad, ‘Frederica, you…’ he began to say, but he sighed and muttered to himself, ‘something is wrong somewhere.’
He shifted in his seat, adjusted his clothes and crossed his legs.
‘I just became friends with General Brennan.’ He said finally with a smile. It was a suspicious smile. I didn’t want to be on the bad side of my father when he had that smile on. I pouted and turned away,
‘I would like to be on friendly terms with the general too.’
I feel deeply beholden to the General, I wonder if it was due to his integrity. I also feel comfortable when I am near him. What do you do day to day? What do you think about? What do you like and dislike? I want to know everything about him. I am being greedy. I was afraid of approaching him, just in case he began to find me annoying.
I know my reputation is in tatters right now. There were rumours of me being a bad woman who didn't know her place, a nouveau riche chit with ideas above her station. But the thought that the general might think of me as someone like that makes my heart hurt. But even if that wasn’t the case, the way he carried me earlier, it was like he was carrying a child.
It couldn’t be helped, from the General’s point of view, I am a child.
It seems that the General is not yet married. It’s not like he couldn’t get married, but he must be to busy too. If he tried, it wouldn’t be hard; he was such a nice person. He could have his pick of beautiful women, and then he will marry and then I will be forgotten.
Be forgotten…
I feel queasy. (Zuben: Well you were working yourself up into a lather, dear)
‘You want to talk to the General? Do you think he wants to talk to you?’ Father asked smiling his mean smile, resting his chin on his hand while his elbow rested on the window frame of the carriage.
‘What about you father, what do you have to talk about with General Brennan?’
‘I can provide…useful information to the general.’ (Zuben: Bad father! LOL)
I had nothing to reply to that. Of course, Father would use “information” as a commodity. (Zuben: You should ask what information, Fredericka) Fresh and correct information is the most important commodity. (Zuben: It certainly is) However, it is unclear what kind of information Father would have that the general would want to buy. (Zuben: Stop over thinking it)
If you want to sell father information, you’re going to have good value. It is a matter of supply and demand, and interpersonal communication. As for me? I’m not good at it, but I have been told Mother was very good at the art.
I should study more.
Between the General and I, we do not have the opportunity to develop it.
‘Well I also have goods. I love the General, only I can offer that. There!’
But when I turn, Father isn’t laughing.
What do you love about General Brennan who is not even interested in you? His look seemed to be saying.
‘Well, maybe.’ He said instead.
My face got hot as a blush stole over me. Maybe – maybe not? Well loving the general is impossible for my father, but not for me.
Oh, what should I do? I’m happy. I tried to keep down the smile that wanted to steal my face, but father suddenly said,
‘It’s not good. Father does not approve. There is a large difference in age! And also physique!’
Hmm? Why was he shouting?
‘Is the difference in age and physique related to making sandwiches? Or maybe the amount of mayonnaise to use?’
Hm? (Zuben: What are you talking about?)
Well, the General must eat a lot, so it would be hard to make that many. But I already gave him a basket full? I decide to make sandwiches for General Brennan. Father? Father who?
‘I’m happy that General Brennan likes what I made. Even if it isn’t sold, I will still do it.’ I will also make it for father. Because I am happy father likes the sandwiches, too.
The first time I made it, he had been angry.
Father collapsed on the back rest in a slovenly manner and smiled. I mimicked him and smiled back.
‘Well, it’s true that the general likes your sandwiches.’
He told me that he had shared the sandwiches with General Brennan when they had lunch together.
‘Fredericka, do you want something?’ he asked with an expression that said he wanted to spoil me. He also looked a bit tired.
‘Oh, then I would like to go to “Kalome”’ I reply excitedly
He nodded and got the attention of the coachman to tell him of the impromptu stop.
‘Let me think a bit,’ he said and then closed his eyes.
It was silent in the carriage.
15 Volker: Night of the Moonlight Gra.s.s
(Zuben: Don’t ask me what the t.i.tle means. It’s what the play they go to see is called)
Volker…
I return home exhausted from the day’s activities. Zuzie handed me a slip of paper. I looked at him in askance,
‘It is a flyer for a play that has become popular with the Ladies of Society.’
I read the flyer; the font was pretty, there was a woman dancing under an arch in the moonlight. The actors and the theatre were perfect.
‘Very good, get tickets for this.’
Xavier bowed, just as he was about to turn to go, he stopped and asked, ‘Would you like me to buy box seats?’
‘…Yes. Just us.’
In a box seat, there would be a chance for an ambiguous atmosphere. Even though is seems a misunderstanding will work…what?
In case of things needing to be proper, we can sit in the seats in front. If there are no objections, we could sit on the couch set a bit back from the balcony, the stage can be seen well but we would be out of view of other people.
I looked at Xavier, who had a slight smile on his face, as though he knew what I was thinking. I coughed and turned away, and there was a small laugh. I turned back to protest but my capable butler was now where to be seen.
(Zuben: What would a j.a.panese Western Historical be without its capable butlers? h.e.l.l what would any historical?)
Although it bothered me, I was responsible for Xavier’s behaviour. When I was younger, I was never able to commit to matchmaker meetings. I was just a young soldier, and so I used to refuse, stating I was busy. Before I noticed it, I was still unmarried at this age. (Zuben: y’all marry too young anyhoo)
It seems that my unmarried state is giving my family a headache. My parents want to embrace their grand children. (Zuben: So do my parents)
There were still families who wanted their daughters to marry me. And there were the one night stands with ladies that wanted to play with fire…no wait, that’s not what is important right now. (Zuben: Aww, we want to hear of your s.e.xy past)
Right now, what is important is the possibility of becoming an item with Lady Fredericka. Even if Viscount Castley would not like it.
Lady Fredericka was seventeen, eighteen years younger than me. But this did not make any difference to me. And there was no mistake she would still be skittish after her engagement abandonment. There was no way a beautiful girl with her future ahead of her would fall into the arms of a crude soldier like me.
Yet…
The thought of her doesn’t leave my mind.
I can’t forget the feeling I had when I first saw her. I had thought she was a fairy, but she didn’t vanish from my arms. The feeling of her in my arms would not disappear. At our next meeting, I was totally captured by her sweet and caring manner, and her innocent smile.
And the other day, after I ate her sandwiches for lunch though they were not at the level of a proper cook like the Viscount said, I realised not just my heart but my stomach had been captured.
I sent the basket back with a letter of thanks, flowers and chocolate from a popular sweet shop in the castle, according to Xavier. A courtesy letter returned with homemade cakes and tarts. I had to write a letter of appreciation, so I ate all the cakes myself. It seemed that she had refrained from making them too sweet, so that someone like me who didn’t like sweets could eat them. Xavier had been amazed. My chest became hot at such kind attention.
I finally decided to ask her to the theatre like I had promised.
♢
Checking that it was recess for the House of Lords, I went to find Viscount Castley. I found him relaxing in the garden; he sat up when he saw me. Checking there was no one else about, I took out the flyer.
‘h.e.l.lo General, are you also on a break?’ the Viscount asked. He looked sleepy. I smiled and said,
‘I wanted to invite Lady Fredericka to the theatre. Is this alright?’
The Viscount Castley who has become a friend, told me a lot about Lady Fredericka. The food she likes, what she did from day to day, her childhood mishaps. I couldn’t help but smile thinking of listening to the adorable episodes. It would be unreasonable to invite Fredericka without her father’s knowledge. It would be like betrayal.
But Fredericka’s position is very shaky. Though she was no longer engaged to the heir to Duke Cajes, for her to appear in society with a much older man who is not her fiancé; would fuel another spate of rumours about her.
If her father did not agree, I would ask him again another time.
The Viscount rubbed his jaw while looking at me. This was his habit when he was thinking. (Zuben: Or pretending to think)
‘Well, we just need to do something eye catching. Let’s meet in the cafeteria for lunch. Tell Nicolo not to bother reserving a table for us. It would be better to have people around. I have something to say. Do you agree?’
Agree? Why would I not agree?
Without waiting for my reply, the Viscount rose to leave. Before he returned to the halls he asked, ‘Which play? Have you bought tickets?’
‘Yes, I bought tickets for the night after tomorrow. The play is “Night of the Moonlight Gra.s.s”’
The play seemed to be a love story and the moonlight gra.s.s shining in the dark between the lovers (Zuben: Or something of the like. Sounds like a snoozer)
The Viscount nodded and quickly returned to the chambers.
I remained there a while, taking deep breaths, relieved that the Viscount did not refuse me outright. I returned to my office.
♢
‘Oh I’m in trouble.’ The Viscount said with his head in his hands. There was a cup of tea beside him. We had just finished our lunch. The cafeteria was filled with other people.
‘What has happened, or is there some difficult agenda in the House?’
‘No, I had promised my daughter I would take her to a play, but I forgot about it and now I have an important business meeting for the same evening,’
What was he talking about? Had he promised to take Fredericka to the play as well?
‘Which play?’ I asked.
‘That popular one, Night of the Moonlight Gra.s.s. I’ve bought the tickets. My daughter really wants to go. What to do?’
Is this a small show for the benefit of the others? (Zuben: Smart man)
‘That’s unfortunate, isn’t it?’ I replied, ‘What about your wife?’
‘My wife is going with me to my meeting. I feel bad; my daughter’s reputation is in a bad way, she will have to go to the play alone.’ The Viscount said with a shrug.
He didn’t openly glare, but I could feel it burning in the edges of his eyes, (Zuben: Not so smart man)
‘I guess.’
I swallowed anger as I drink my black tea.
‘Oh General, can I ask you a favour?’ (Zuben: Sorry daddy, you have an idiot pair on your hands)
It came!
I wonder how I should agree to this.
‘I will not fail Lady Fredericka’s reputation; I will take good care of her. ‘
I bowed to the Viscount.
Does this mean the odds are good?
Hope you all are having good times!
If not; the dark tunnel may be long, but there is light at the end of it. Keep well.
