22 Night of the Moonlight Gra.s.s

The General carried me into our box and shut the door firmly behind us. He sat me on the couch. The box seats in the theatre were close to the stage. There were three single seats right before the balcony and the settee behind them.

General Brennan kneeled before me and took my hand, and looked up at me with his beautiful hazel eyes.

‘I surprised you, I apologise.’

‘No. Thank you for helping me tonight. I caused you further trouble embroiling you in my troubles, and did not thank you properly. I…even let you say something like that.’

I’m so sorry. But an apology won’t rectify the situation. General Brennan had a “girl-hobby” [1] is what people will be saying. I would be beyond help if such a thing happened.  But was the general someone like that? I couldn’t tell. (Zuben: He’s not an ero-oyaji. Well he is but not that kind…?)

But wasn’t that such a big bomb he dropped? (Zuben: It certainly was) It was amazing. Everyone was taken aback, and were shocked still! What was he doing with me? This kind of great man?

‘I was going to flirt, woo you or beg for your love; that sort of thing…?’

I don’t want you to say it out loud! It makes me feel like I’m walking on air. Is he possibly interested in me? I can’t even dream of the possibility. But the hazel eyes before me are unwavering. He didn’t look like he was ashamed to say it. He looked at me seriously with sincerity. No…it couldn’t possibly! I’m just being overly self conscious. That right, isn’t it?

Yet, General Brennan has not let go of my hand. I’m afraid my palms would get sweaty soon. I could feel my body heating up. Was it because of the alcohol? Or was it because the General’s large hand was over mine and he was stroking me?

This is counterproductive! I wanted to shout.

I feel strange when he strokes me. I wanted to withdraw my hand but Brennan wouldn’t let me.

‘Do you not like me?’ he asked looking sadly at me.

‘No, that’s not it.’ I protest in rush. Why was he asking whether I disliked him? Was it because of the flirt remark or was it because I was trying to pull my hand away from his. It’s because my body is being 『zowa zowa』 (Zuben: Hmm, zowa zowa huh?)

General Brennan’s eyes widened and he smiled at my answer.

‘If that is the case…if you do not dislike me, may I be presumptuous?’

I don’t dislike, rather, I like you! If the General truly wanted a “girl hobby”, I would like to raise my hand for candidacy. But I could not tell him such a shameless thing, could I? I’m sorry but it is useless isn’t it?

He looked so elegant and strong…

‘I dislike such things, but…’

He was the heirloom sword of the country; I wanted to say “We need to come up with a strategy to deal with this development!”

General Brennan would surely be convinced to come up with a good reason.

However…

‘If you do not dislike me, if you have even a little like for me…Fredericka, if you are agreeable, I would like to ask you so marry me as soon as possible.’ (Zuben: General Brennan uses 『Bulldozer』)

I adore you, so please don’t say such self depreciating things General Brennan.

But did he just say what I think he said? (Zuben: General Brennan causes 『stun』again)

My reason was stunned.

I would never have imagined that in a million years.

His wife! Not his mistress?!

Oh my goodness…my face burned and turned red. Oh my goodness, I couldn’t think I couldn’t think of the two of us together…because the thought would cause a nosebleed!

[1] Author’s note: Thank you for reading.

A “girl hobby” is a made up phrase to represent a girl as a mistress rather than using the word mistress. I couldn’t think of any other word for it.

Zuben: Volker had made his move! Kyaa!

23 What you think is shameful depends on you

‘Wwife, but…’

General Brennan kissed my hand and held mine in his big hands and looked at me. Under his handsome eyebrows, his hazel eyes glittered.

Aeeeeee!

I’m filled with emotions that I cannot understand,

Was this perhaps, because, he had heard the rumours and wanted to irritate the bad people?

I was so embarra.s.sed and I wanted to make sure I did not have a nose bleed. But when I wanted to take my hands away, he still would not let me go. (Zuben: You’ve been caught, kitty) I wouldn’t be able to ascertain the state of my face without force.

General Brennan gave me an indulgent smile. Ah, I am in trouble, I thought, as I reluctantly looked away.

‘I’m sorry, my mind had run away,’ I said with a trembling embarra.s.sed laugh.’

‘May I sit next to you?’ he asked.

‘Oh yes please,’ I nodded. General Brennan’s expression gained its usual calmness. I moved my body to give him s.p.a.ce but he sat as close to me as possible on the settee. He hadn’t let my hand go yet.

‘I feel like I would boil in anger when I think of you talking and getting along with men other than me. I’m being a jealous man, aren’t I?’ (Zuben: Yes, but we love you anyway, General!)

‘I know there are men that would suit you better – younger men, but I don’t want their disgusting persons near you.’

I watched him in surprise and embarra.s.sment, while watching out for nosebleeds. Wow, wow, General. Please stop. Don’t say thoughtless things like with such a troublesome face. I don’t think my nasal mucosa will be able to take it. (Zuben: hahahahaha!)

I did not want to doubt him, but did he really feel this way about me? Can I answer truthfully? Am I allowed?

I?!

‘My Lady, please tell me if you don’t like me, and do not care for this, and I will stop.’ He said but his expression was sad as he gently held my hand.

I was hoping he would let me go, I want to separate just a little bit so I could think clearly. His big, warm hands around mine was all I could think about. I quickly pulled my hand away and it escaped with a pop. Finally free of the General’s hands, I feel into a spiral of thought.

For example: what are his intentions holding my hands? (Zuben: overwhelm you with body warmth) Was he telling the truth? Can I reply honestly? Was someone like me okay? Oh, what to do?

‘Lady Fredericka,’ the General looked at me with sad eyes, and I got a tight feeling in my chest.

I like him.

At that moment, my mother’s voice echoed in my head, “Try to tempt him. Speak honestly. If he likes you, he will want to date you if you want to date him.”

I guess even if I thought the General was being ashamed of not being truthful, I will be able to laugh about my disgraceful incident. I’m sure there are people who would laugh at me! (Zuben: Poor Fredericka)

Even if I am mortified, I should not let the General feel mortified. Do not let your favourite person feel embarra.s.sed. That is the motto of the Castley family!

A woman’s courage, come to me!

I took a deep breath said, ‘I do like you. I do love you. If General Brennan does not mind, I know I am not a reputable person, please give me everything.’ (Zuben: Everything? What everything?)

At the moment I touched his hand, he pulled me into a fierce hug.

Ugfu!

I made a strange sound as he hugged me with too much strength, but bore with guts! (Zuben: Go girl) General Brennan; the strongest soldier since the founding of the country till now. Well, I didn’t learn how to give out cute voices in times of peril from my mother!

‘Lady Fredericka…Fredericka!’

Hi ~i~iiiiya~a! My name! He called my name with such a sweet voice, right in my ear. It is induces such a strong sensation 『fuo~o~o~o~a 』 (Zuben: hmmhm.)

I didn’t see the play after all. Well not much of it. Because I was on the General’s lap again, and he was giving me little kisses everywhere.

When the play ended, like a gale; the General carried me to the carriage. On the ride home, I was on his lap again. He would not let me get away. He whispered how he didn’t want to let me go home and other sweet things and kissing me. (Zuben:*swoon* I’m dead)

My nasal mucosa held firm; it is strong! Thank you mother, for giving birth to a child with strong nasal mucosa.

Somehow, I’m in love! I was immersed in various thoughts that I should be ashamed of as a girl. (Zuben: What kind of thoughts Fredericka?) I should have more lovely thoughts. (Zuben: Boring) I’m sorry but I don’t feel like that.

When the General dropped me off at him, he said, ‘I will come and give my greetings formally,’ I did not understand.

I was in daze, walking on air, I went to take a bath and went to bed without properly telling my parents the big news.

The next day, it became a serious thing. (Zuben: Hey! Is this the right book?!)

24 Jealousy Jealousy

‘What? What did you say about Brennan?’

I could not believe my ears.

Brennan was with a young girl on a date at the theatre?! And the girl is that…Lady Castley!

‘It can’t be true, is it?’ I asked cross examining the Chamberlain.

‘Summon that Castley girl that used her charms on Brennan right now!’

The chamberlain’s face went blue and he ran to do as I bid.

♢

I overslept the morning after I went to the theatre to see a play I did not watch. So I had a late breakfast with Mother.

Father had left early for Parliament meetings.

After I eat some of my breakfast, I gave mother a full report of last night’s happenings.

‘General Brennan proposed to you!’

‘I suppose it was a proposal, he told me he wanted me to be his wife.’ I told Mother, shyly covering my face with my hands.

His wife!

That was indeed a proposal.

Oliver smiled and placed a fruit tart before me.

‘It looks that way, I guess…’

‘Congratulations, our Lady,’ Oliver said with a smile. I felt warmth in my chest as the servants echoed his sentiment.

Everyone is so kind, I thought, as tears threatened to fall.

It had only been a short time since Eugene broke off the engagement with me and the Terror of the Falling Underwear and now I am engaged to General Brennan. I feel really lucky, but I am also scared that with this good luck windfall, something bad will happen but there didn’t seem to be anything. (Zuben: yet)

While deep in thought, I sipped my tea. Just then, I could hear running from down the corridor.

‘Mistress! Miss! OH!’

I find this desperate face familiar. It was the same as the time General Brennan said he was coming to visit.

‘What’s wrong, Marie?’

It would be fine if the general wanted to visit, everything was prepared. He can come at anytime!

‘Oh, my goodness…a letter! A letter came from the Palace! You’ve been summoned by the Crown Prince!’ She said between puffs of breath

She held out a crumpled letter in her trembling hands.

Oliver quickly took it from her and turned a shocked gaze to Mother and I,

‘It is definitely a summons to the Palace by Prince Stefan.’

Eh? Why?

*

Mother and I quickly changed into suitable Palace visiting attire. With Oliver, Marie and two foot men we rushed to the Palace. As soon as we alighted from the carriage, everyone was so impolite. We aren’t courtesans!

‘Come now.’

‘Hurry along.’

They urged us.

We were rushed into a private visitor drawing room,

‘Wait here.’ They said rudely and left hastily.

‘Is the Palace also lacking talented people?’ Marie and I asked each other.

Unlike Marie and I who were taken aback, Mother was calm. She merely raised an eyebrow and took herself to very elegantly sit on a settee. Oliver began to pour her tea from the tea things that had been left. It looked quite luxurious, there was a wonderfully mellow aroma from the tea, but I could not enjoy it.

What did the Prince want with me?

Was about General Brennan…or was it about Eugene? The engagement cancellation has been approved. Or perhaps I had been unknowingly rude to him? I was thinking of how I would sincerely apologise when Father entered. I went to him

‘Good day, Father.’

It was already early afternoon, but he returned the greeting. Oliver left.

Father had a frown on his face as he held his hand on his forehead. Did he have a headache?

‘Fredericka, tell me important things early.’

‘Yes. Is greeting more important than anything?’

Father tilted his head back and sighed. He and Mother share a look.

Haha, you two are funny.

‘Not so, foolish girl. I mean about yesterday!’

Oh, about General Brennan.

‘It was late and I was tired.’ And embarra.s.sed above all, so it was hard to say.

But, was that the cause of this summons; yesterday’s incident?

‘I’m sorry.’ I apologised to father.

He took something from his pocket and forcibly drank it, looking disgusted. (Zuben: Despite everything, Daddy hoped the General won’t realise his feelings so quickly)

‘She can’t be at home forever,’ Mother said with a strange laugh behind me. 

♢