第八章　海绵VS钢板
Chapter 8 - Sponge VS Steel Plate
TL note: I’m just gonna state this right here right now. If I don’t get any other TLs I’m only going to get slower as school takes up more time and national exams come closer. So don’t expect me to speed up anytime within 2-3 years oh and my exams are coming up so another 2-3 week hiatus after this chap.
Oh and Meng Qi has been changed to Dream Jade. All previous mentions have been changed.
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　Character a.n.a.lysis by employer: Dream Jade is a headstrong, blunt, straightforward(venomous tongue), and delicate but unwilling to admit defeat, girl. On the other hand, she is very serious, and treats everything in life similarly. When it’s time for rest, she seriously rests. When it’s time for bargaining, she seriously bargains. When it’s time for work, she seriously works. She likes singing as well as the stage, almost to the point of obsession.
Shen Ming, who was at the foot of the stage, had recorded the a.n.a.lysis into his brain, in order to fit Dream Jade’s personality, and offer a more suitable protection.
　　His father once said, the best bodyguard was not a steel board or a man of steel that can block all dangers a thousand miles away, but rather a sponge. A sponge can fit the employer’s figure from left to right, and render all impact imperceptible. The best would be to, after fulfilling the contract, let the employer feel: you didn’t do anything, why should you be paid? This would be the best.
　　However, sometimes, a steel board would be more likable, at least it looked way cooler.
　　A girl, bringing along a steel board bodyguard, swaggered[1] up to the front of the stage.
　She was a tall 172cm with a caucasian’s voluptuous b.u.t.t. She was obviously asian but her body was tanned until it was bronze. Her makeup was exaggerated and glamorous. After removing it, she should also be a beautiful woman. It was just that Shen Ming could easily see several traces of plastic surgery.
　“Big sis is really impatient. The finals haven’t even started yet. You came here so anxiously, thinking of trying the feeling of being a champion? Looking at this, I, your little sister, am so moved that tears are almost dropping.” The girl pretentiously said.
　“Green Tea, don’t call me so familiarly. I don’t remember having a little sister like you. The stage belongs to both of us, and the performance is for everyone to see. I’m just checking out the field beforehand. This is also being responsible towards the audience.” As soon as Dream Jade saw Green Tea, she automatically entered an unhappy state, put on her shoe and jumped from the stage down towards the gra.s.s.
　“To be able to call you big sis, it seems like I, Green Tea, have climbed up the social ladder. Come to think of it, what kind of person is big sis? A veteran that debuted 4 years ago. Even popular actor, Liang Jun, bowed before your chibi[2] skirt. Oh right, I forgot that back then it seemed like Liang Jun already had a wife and kids. Not good, not good. If that’s the case, then esteemed elder sister, didn’t you become a Xiao San? How did the newspapers phrase it that time? “History’s Most Beautiful Xiao San prost.i.tute”. Listen, being a Xiao San is so gao da shang[3], how can us juniors compare?” Green Tea smiled as she purposely mocked Dream Jade loudly. The surrounding staff all unconcernedly dodged far away.
　　They had already seen plenty of scheming and plotting between celebrities. However, they really didn’t expect that Dream Jade, who was over half a head shorter than Green Tea, would actually dare to directly spit on Green Tea’s face.
　“You’re a Xiao San! You’re whole family’s a Xiao San! Till today, I’ve, unlike you, forged my own path step by step. From head to toe, what’s been given by your mom? A map that’s undergone a complete plastic surgery!” Even though Dream Jade’s body was small, she did not have the likeness of a small house’s green jade when scolding people. She was incomparably aggressive, and every word was like a knife.
　　“You actually dare spit on me?! Monster Bear! Hit her for me!” Green Tea roared as her embarra.s.sment turned into anger. She was so angry that her face turned green.
　That 2 meter tall black bodyguard, standing behind her directly, stepped forward then used his hands, which were the size of cattail leaf fans, and slapped towards Dream Jade’s small face.
　　Even though Dream Jade constantly quarrelled, she hadn’t a fought a single time yet. Don’t even mention this kind of monster-like thing. At that moment, she was so scared that she was rooted in place and could only close her eyes.
　　But, in the instant that she was being attacked, Dream Jade’s small hand was pulled from behind. Her entire body, as if it was boneless, fell backwards and into Shen Ming’s chest.
　“My superstar, next time you see someone about to hit you, can you take the trouble to dodge? If you really get hit, your head might fly out~” Shen Ming’s embrace was still so warm, just like a sheltered harbour, hiding within, even if there were ten typhoons, she would not be afraid.
　　“My great bodyguard, next time you see someone attack me, can you take the trouble to act sooner? If I really get hit, you will properly be fired.” Dream Jade also didn’t know whether it was fear that made her red, or getting hugged by the man in front of her that made her heart jump, and forced a calm retort.
　　As soon as the black man’s move missed, he was scolded by the Green Tea s.l.u.t, not right, should be Green Tea. Anyhow, he was also a bodyguard with an origin in the American Professional Wrestling League, how could he be humiliated by this little asian bodyguard? He just took off his suit jacket which was almost ripped open[4], and tore off the shirt with his bare hands, showing off a body full of muscles like that of a monster.
　The 200 cm tall brawny black person was known as “Monster Bear” in the wrestling ring. His chest was even bigger than 39Fs and made people unable to help but think that those two points needed to be censored.
　The roaring Monster Bear threw a straight jab towards the two people like a piledriver. However, he suddenly stopped before he hit his target.
　“What are you stopping for? Useless piece of s.h.i.t!” Green Tea, oblivious to what really had happened, called out. However, it wasn’t that Monster Bear consciously stopped attacking, but rather that Shen Ming, who was hugging Dream Jade with one arm, used only a single finger to stand up to Monster Bear’s huge fist.
　It was the first time that Monster Bear met this kind of opponent. His arm was suffocated to the point where blue veins started to pop up. However, he still had no way to make the finger on his fist move in the least.
“You lose, take a step back, lest you get hurt.” Shen Ming gently pushed Dream Jade back 1m, took back his finger and ended the confrontation.
　When he turned back, what he saw was a pair of dark female milk machines, nope, should’ve said pectoral muscles.
　　Although Shen Ming, who was 175 cm tall, was also a muscular man, he still had a well-proportioned slim physique. If he didn’t tear off his shirt, he would look just like a normal salaryman.
　　“Friend, women quarreling is a common matter. Don’t get physical. Let’s all be civilized bodyguards, alright?” Cheng Min faced Monster Bear’s pectoral muscles as he spoke.
　　As for those jiggling pectoral muscles, it was as if they were saying, “f.u.c.k your uncle!”
　Monster Bear, towards women, didn’t stay his hands. Towards Shen Ming, he wouldn’t show any mercy at all. He once again brandished his fist and directly struck towards Shen Ming’s chest.
But right at that instant, the look in Shen Ming’s eyes changed. His killing intent actually made Monster Bear, who was taller than him by over a head, tremble involuntarily.
　　Everyone there was dumbstruck, Monster Bear, who weighed 115kg, was unexpectedly sent flying 2m in a single punch by Shen Ming. Although he didn't collapse, Monster Bear was only able to stop himself from falling further after he hit the ground by taking 2 steps back.
　One Inch Punch(寸劲)[5], a method of using strength unique to China’s Wing Chun Style. It erupted with large amounts of power in an instant within a short range. The One Inch Punch(存拳)[5] that was popularised by international film star, Bruce Lee, originated from this. It was just that no matter how Bruce Lee lived, he couldn't strike harder than such a strong fist.
　Shen Ming’s One Inch Punch(寸劲) made use of the entire body’s, as many as 60 muscles, 14 joints, 37 ligaments, to bring out force. It was so strong that it could even leave a fist mark on a steel board. Hypothetically speaking, if Shen Ming changed his fist into a knifehand and jabbed…… Monster Bear wouldn't even have the chance to be sent flying and would just be sent to another world.
　The valiant Monster Bear calmed his nerves and roared, “Ah!" He aggressively wanted to battle once more. However, after walking a measly two steps forward, he immediately saw blackness and fell to his knees. He even puked out his last night’s dinner. The field, apart from being very disgusting, was only very disgusting.
　“Sure enough, I haven't fully adapted……” Shen Ming took a deep breath as he returned to his usual posture. He had been on the battlefield, killing for too long, so he had already made it a habit to kill in one strike. Just now, even though he had held back in that punch, he still unintentionally exceeded what a normal person could handle. Good thing Monster Bear’s body was a lot stronger than most. Otherwise, this guy would already be dead.
“Shen Ming” right at this moment, Wu Neng as well as Xiao Yi rushed over and just barely caught the fight. Xiao Yi loudly yelled while her palm automatically reached towards the back of her waist. Wu Neng saw what she was reaching towards. It was a concealed gun. However, the experienced him didn't show any reaction.
　Monster Bear was instantly killed by Shen Ming’s attack. Shen Ming was so fast that it was no one could clearly see what he did. Green Tea’s 30000¥ face showed an incomparably exaggerated expression that made one suspect that she underwent too much plastic surgery on her jaw bone, resulting in her lower jaw not being able to work.
　
Well, Monster Bear didn't die, he just vomited so much that his black face became white. Only after kneeling for a full 10mins, did he stand once more.
　The organizers also rapidly rushed over and Quick Mouth Hua acted as the mediator. After arriving at the backstage break room, Quick Mouth Hua listened to the ins and outs of the event. Then, he said that both sides were in the wrong so they should just bury the hatchet[6]. This time, Green Tea was unwilling to do so. The one who got spit on was her, the one whose bodyguard was beat up was also her. And yet, Dream Jade actually wouldn't get punished at all. Green Tea wanted to flip out on the spot.
　
Wu Neng signaled to Green Tea to be quiet, then fished out his phone and made a call. He smiled, made some small talk and hung up in less than 10s. Right at that moment, Green Tea’s phone also rang. After picking up the phone, her face turned green as it was her record company’s CEO telling her to stop.
　　Even if she was harder, she must also know how to be soft. This was one of the entertainment industry’s rules. Green Tea angrily brought Monster Bear along and walked out.
　　
Dream Jade smiled like a flower as she softly whispered to Shen Ming, “Look, Uncle is so mystical. No matter how big the problem, he can settle it.”
　　“I now understand why you've never hired a bodyguard." Shen Ming looked at Wu Neng with a trace of admiration.
　　Dad was wrong. A bodyguard’s ultimate realm was not a sponge, but rather a “breeze" like Wu Neng. To be able to make all the clients problems disappear with only a few words, without using one’s fist at all. To be able to sort out anything within 50km with just a single phone call. This could be described as powerful and capable[7].
　Then, Quick Mouth Hua went over the final’s proceedings in detail once more for Dream Jade. In the finals, 4 songs will be sung to decide the winner. 2 will be chosen by the singer and 1 by the opponent. The opponent will first be given 10 songs that you can sing. Then, they will choose of them one for you to sing.
　The last song, which is also the most important song, would not be chosen by the judges, but rather by the audience in the stadium and the people in front of their TVs(sms) through a vote.
　It was said that the company behind Green Tea, Flowstone Music, had already hired 5 million internet mercenaries and what's more, gave free tickets to the concert to Green Tea’s fan group, all to obtain an overwhelming victory during the last song.
　　It was as if the whole world knew that Dream Jade couldn't win, even Wu Neng had joined them and put his thoughts and considerations into advertis.e.m.e.nt and money-earning events in the future. Only Dream Jade showed constant persistence towards the champion’s throne.
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[1] If you can think of a better word for 左扭右扭 feel free to suggest
[2] 齐13. 齐=qi p.r.o.nounced chi. 13=B hence chibi
[3]高大上:高端，大气，上档次; 高端=high-end 大气= open-minded 上档次= of high grade or fine taste
[4]快撑裂开的西装. 撑-means filled to the point of bursting. The sentence is supposed to mean that he’s so buff the suit’s too small for him so it’s almost ripped open
[5] 寸劲 is the original Wing Chun’s version 寸拳 is Bruce Lee’s version
[6] 化干戈为玉帛 bury the hatchet; beat swords into ploughshares -- put an end to war and have peace; cease hostilities and negotiate for peace; turn hostility into friendship; turn swords into ploughshares
[7] 手眼通天