Aching Youth
Pang Pang, you have to help me. I can’t hold it in any longer.

Pang Qian found Xie Yi very easily. He was in the exhibition hall for the community get together.  What surprised Pang Qian though was that Xie Yi was striking a cool poss (pose), taking a picture with the crowd. Of course, most of them were young girls.

He had makeup on, and even dyed his hair. His eye makeup was especially heavy, so much that you couldn’t even make out what his face looked like originally. Of course you could still tell that he was a pretty boy.

He stood very tall and was wearing a black, old-styled soldier’s uniform. He had on a wide belt and epaulets on his shoulders, along with some s.h.i.+ning golden accessories. Secured onto his back was a single, large wing. Pang Qian didn’t see wrong, it was indeed a single wing. He looked just like a single-winged angel. Xie Yi’s cold eyes stood out against the lively clamor around him in the room. Girls kept walking up to and away from him, but he didn’t move. Occasionally he would s.h.i.+ft to a different post, but he always kept a cold look on his face.

Pang Qian had been staring, and then said to Gu Mingxi, “It’s Mudo Setsuna! Angel Sanctuary’s Mudo Setsuna! Ah, it really looks alike! Gu Mingxi, do you remember? You helped me draw him before!”

Gu Mingxi knew Mudo Setsuna, but like Pang Qian, he knew nothing about cosplay. He wasn’t that interested either. Pang Qian pulled out a camera from her bag and ran merrily over to Xie Yi. Gu Mingxi saw that Xie Yi had just finished taking a photo with a group of girls. And when he turned around and saw Pang Qian, his originally cool face broke out in a smile instantly.

“Hey, Crab!” He waved at Pang Qian. Then he saw Gu Mingxi beside her and offered a greeting, “Hi, Gu Mingxi. Where’s everyone else? Crab, didn’t you say that Sun Mingfang and Jian Zhe were coming along?”

Pang Qian answered, “In the end, they couldn’t come.”

Xie Yi was very surprised and asked, “Then the two of you came together alone?”

“Mm.” Pang Qian smiled and said, “We arrived in Shanghai last night and stayed for the night. We’ll take the train back tomorrow afternoon.”

Xie Yi said happily, “Then, if you’re free tomorrow morning, you can come watch my compet.i.tion.”

Pang Qian didn’t even ask what kind of compet.i.tion it was, and she’d already nodded her head, “Okay, okay. Tomorrow morning, we’re free!”

Seeing the camera in Pang Qian’s hands, Xie Yi smiled and asked, “Crab, you want a picture with me?”

Pang Qian nodded shyly. Xie Yi called over one of his friends to help take the picture. Pang Qian stood next to him, and he struck a cla.s.sic Mudo Setsuna pose. A kacha sound rang, and like that, they’d taken a picture.

Xie Yi suddenly recalled Gu Mingxi standing on the side, so he turned around to ask, “Gu Mingxi, do you want to take a photo together?”

Gu Mingxi started shaking his head, when Pang Qian had already walked to him and started pus.h.i.+ng him forward. “Let’s take one together.”

Gu Mingxi could only just stand to Pang Qian’s right. Xie Yi stood to her left, but he didn’t strike another pose. Instead, he naturally draped his arm across Pang Qian’s shoulders. She was taken by surprise, and her face rapidly turned red. Gu Mingxi looked down to see the hand that Xie Yi had on Pang Qian’s shoulders, and then he silently frowned.

They finished taking their photos, and then Xie Yi took off the wing on his back and led Pang Qian and Gu Mingxi to Starlight Comics Group’s booth. Pang Qian saw a few boys and girls who were all a few years older than them. The oldest was probably about 20 years old. Some of them also had on costumes with heavy makeup, and they were helping each other touch up their outfits. Xie Yi made some introductions, and then he sat down. He turned and smiled at Pang Qian, “This wing is really tiring, it was extremely heavy.”

Pang Qian responded eagerly, “Can I try it on?”

“Sure.” Xie Yi got up and helped Pang Qian with the belt for the wing. Pang Qian turned her head back to look at the wing, and then she looked at Gu Mingxi with a smile, “Does it look good?”

Gu Mingxi nodded. He had been standing silently at the corner of the booth.

There were a few folding stools at the booth. Pang Qian sat on one as she chatted with Xie Yi. She lifted her head and looked around at the artwork on display at the booth. There were various sizes in black and white and in color. After examining them carefully, she said with surprise, “These are amazing!”

She tugged at Gu Mingxi to take a look. Then she felt a bit regretful, as she whispered into his ear, “If I knew about it sooner, I’d have brought some pieces that you drew. We could have put them on display a bit. Your drawings are as good as these.”

Gu Mingxi didn’t seem very interested, not even giving a casual reply. Pang Qian looked at him and asked, “What’s wrong?”

Gu Mingxi looked down, and in a low voice, replied, “We arrived awhile ago, and you’ve kept staying here. Don’t you plan to take a look around? Didn’t you want one of the comic author’s autographs?”

“Don’t we still have all afternoon? Why are you in such a rush?”

“I’m not in a rush. Xie Yi and everyone else here have a booth set up. You’re not involved with it, and you’re not part of their club. Why are you staying here?”

“I’m just looking a bit. Why, I can’t?” Pang Qian said in a m.u.f.fled voice. “I’m going to stay here a little longer.”

Gu Mingxi pursed his lips as he looked at her. His eyes were dark and deep as he said, “Then you stay here. I’m going to go look around.”

He had thought that Pang Qian would follow along after a moment, but he hadn’t expected her to say, “Okay. Go take a walk around. Don’t forget to come back to find me later.”

Gu Mingxi’s teeth were nearly gnashed to bits, but he couldn’t take back the words he’d already spoken. With a straight face, his backpack on his shoulders, he walked out from that convention hall. Xie Yi was handing out pamphlets at the side of their booth. When he saw Gu Mingxi leave, he asked Pang Qian curiously, “Where did Gu Mingxi go?”

Pang Qian pouted, then said, “I don’t know. He went off to play on his own.”

Xie Yi walked over to her and asked, “What about you? Why didn’t you go with him?”

Pang Qian opened her mouth, but she couldn’t answer. Xie Yi suddenly smiled and said, “Oh yeah, didn’t you say that you liked Tang Weiqing?”

“Mm,” Pang Qian nodded. “She’s my favorite.”

“Do you want to take a photo with her? An autograph?” Xie Yi smiled, showing a very pleased expression. “When I’m done here, I’ll take you to see her. I know her.”

“Really?”!” Pang Qian was extremely pleasantly surprised. She said, “Why didn’t you say so earlier? Look, Gu Mingxi already ran off!”

Still smiling, Xie Yi said, “We’ll wait for him.”
—

Gu Mingxi carried his backpack and visited several exhibition halls.

At first, he’d felt a bit dispirited. Even when he was looking at all the artists’ works, he couldn’t get rid of the feeling. That is, until he saw a demonstration by his favorite ill.u.s.trator. His heart gradually calmed as he watched and learned.

The convention center was very large. The organizers also put a lot of thought and effort into planning it. There was one hall that displayed works by authors from Hong Kong, Macao, Taiwan, and other people overseas. There was a hall for original works by mainland authors. There was also an exhibition for animated works and other products. There was even a comic contest there.

Gu Mingxi stayed in the compet.i.tion hall for a long time. He stood on the side and watched the compet.i.tors draw. There were some older people who talked to him. Because of his special and eye-catching body, there were always curious people who would ask a few questions.

Gu Mingxi was always polite and courteous with these types of people. Sometimes, people would be too forthright with their questions, so he would just smile in response.

When he got to the booths selling things related to animations, Gu Mingxi looked around and an idea gradually floated to his mind.

He walked past booth after booth until he stopped in front of one, the one for the Cartoon King publications. They were selling a lot of their artists’ work on bookmarks, postcards, notebooks, and other little things.

Gu Mingxi saw a set of Tang Weiqing postcards, a very pretty set. There were 12 cards.

“Give me a box of that. How much?” He pointed towards the box of postcards with his chin and asked the young girl at the booth.

She looked to be about 20 years old. After seeing his empty sleeves, she felt a bit awkward, but answered, “30.”

Gu Mingxi nodded. Recalling that his money was in his backpack, he wriggled his shoulders and got his bag off. After considering for a moment, he just sat on the floor and used his right foot to pull out a pouch. He grabbed out a 100 dollar bill.

All around him, people’s eyes were drawn to him. He had on a white t-s.h.i.+rt, beige shorts, and there were blue flip flops on his feet.

He stood up and lifted his leg up high, dropping he money onto the booth counter. He looked at the girl a bit apologetically.

She hesitated for a moment before accepting the money. She took out 70 dollars for change, and Gu Mingxi said, “Can I trouble you to put the change into my trouser pockets? Thank you.”

The girl walked out from behind the booth and silently pushed the money into his pocket. She asked, “Should I put the postcards into your bag?”

“Mm, thank you.” Gu Mingxi smile shyly at her. The girl felt a bit upset. After she put the cards into his bag and zipped it up, she helped him return the backpack onto his shoulders.

“Student, are you here by yourself?” she couldn’t help but ask.

Gu Mingxi shook his head, “No, I came with a friend.”

“Are you buying the Tang Weiqing postcards for them?”

Gu Mingxi’s face blushed slightly as he said, “Mm, it’s a gift. She really likes Tang Weiqing.”

The girl smiled and picked up a small badge from the table, stuffing it into Gu Mingxi’s bag. “This is a gift from me. You can give it to your friend too.”

Gu Mingxi, “That doesn’t seem right.”

“It’s fine, it’s just a small token, not worth much.” She looked at him, eyes sharp. “Be careful of your safety. It’s best to stay with a group. There are thieves here.”

Because he’d bought something, and even gotten a free gift, Gu Mingxi felt very happy. He counted the time and figured he’d been gone for about half an hour. He thought that Pang Qian had probably had enough time there. Most importantly, Gu Mingxi drank half a bottle of water at breakfast, and he’d eaten a bowl of wonton soup. At that moment, he urgently needed the restroom.

He returned to the club exhibition hall and found Starlight Comics’ booth. When the people there saw him, they smiled at him. But as he looked around, Gu Mingxi didn’t see a hint of Pang Qian or Xie Yi.

He asked a girl who looked like she was in university, “Sis, do you know where Xie Yi and my friend went?”

“Ah, they looked like they were going for a walk.” The girl asked her friend beside her, “Hey, do you know where Xiao Xie (lit. little Xie) and that girl went?”

“Don’t know. I think Xiao Xie said he was taking the girl to see one of his friends.”

“They left awhile ago, maybe 20 minutes.”

“Student, why don’t you wait here for them. They’ll probably be back soon.”

With everyone talking all at once, Gu Mingxi could only wait for them there. Someone brought him a stool, and he said a word of thanks and sat down.

The minutes ticked past. Gu Mingxi sat upright, his head slightly lowered. Xie Yi’s friends just thought he was someone of few words. Thinking about his disability as well, they thought that it was pretty normal for him to be somewhat withdrawn. So no on approached him to talk.

Gu Mingxi wanted to go out to find Pang Qian, but in the end, he needed the restroom urgently. He probably wouldn’t be able to hold it in and walk around.

Pang Qian and Xie Yi still hadn’t returned. Gu Mingxi didn’t know how long he waited for. The exhibition hall was very crowded, the attendees coming and going in waves. Some people were distributing flyers, and a bunch of them were also cosplaying, just like Xie Yi. People came in groups of twos and threes to snap a photo.

Gu Mingxi’s forehead was covered in cold sweat. The clothes on his back were slightly damp and sticky. His whole body was stiff, his two legs held tightly together. His lower abdomen felt like it would explode, and he didn’t dare to move.

He could find someone to help him, but he didn’t want to. This could be considered that laughable thing called pride. He didn’t know them, so for him to make such a request, and in such haste, what would these people think of him? Moreover, these people were Xie Yi’s friends.

The girl from earlier started talking to the others, “It’s noon, we should order lunch. Why hadn’t Xiao Xie come back yet?”

“Maybe he took that girl out to eat?”

“Really? Their friend is still here.” The girl turned around and asked Gu Mingxi, “Student, we’re ordering lunch. Why don’t you have lunch with us?”

Gu Mingxi shook his head. His voice hoa.r.s.e, he said, “No, thanks. I’ll wait for my friend to come back to eat.”

“They still haven’t come back. They’ve been gone for two hours, so they probably ate outside already.”

Gu Mingxi bit his lip, then shook his head again. “No, my friend will be back.”

Seeing how resolute he was, the girl didn’t press any further. She calculated the number of people and then ordered lunch.

Gu Mingxi was silent again, sitting by himself in the corner, waiting.

Finally, when the meal boxes arrived, Xie Yi and Pang Qian also returned. they were chatting and smiling, in very high spirits. Pang Qian saw Gu Mingxi and her eyes lit up. She ran over to him. “Gu Mingxi! Do you know how many autographs I got? And they didn’t just sign, they signed a drawing they drew! Even people who lined up wouldn’t be able to get it! I…”

She din’t continue speaking because Gu Mingxi’s gaze cut her off.

“Did you eat yet?” he asked.

She shook her head. Xie Yi walked over and said, “I ordered two portions for you guys. Let’s all eat here together.”

“No need.” Gu Mingxi got up slowly. To Pang Qian, he said, “We’ll go out to eat. Let’s not bother them.”

Seeing how serious he was, her heart thumped, and she nodded, “Mm.”

She turned back to look at Xie Yi, “Xie Yi, thanks for taking me to meet so many cartoon authors. Come eat lunch with us, my treat.”

Xie Yi was about to respond when Gu Mingxi said lightly, “Pang Pang, Xie Yi’s very busy. Don’t disturb him anymore.”

Xie Yi stared for a moment, and when he came to, he found it very interesting. He pointed at his exaggerated makeup and said to Pang Qian, “I really can’t go out. With all this makeup on, I’ll scare everyone. You and Gu Mingxi go, I’m not going.”

Pang Qian looked very regretful as she waved to Xie Yi. “Then I’ll go first. We’ll come back to find you later.”

Xie Yi smiled brilliantly, “Mm, bye.”

Pang Qian and Gu Mingxi left the convention hall together. Outside was a large corridor, the public restrooms on the side.

Gu Mingxi suddenly stopped in his steps. His teeth were clenched tightly, nearly distorting his facial features. He whispered to Pang Qian, “Pang Pang, you have to help me. I can’t hold it in any longer.”