First Year, Cla.s.s 2
I think that I am an ostrich.
“Goodnight, Gu Mingxi.”
Pang Qian laughed as she leaned against the door to Apt. 501. From the crack, her head came out and she waved at Gu Mingxi.
“Goodnight,” Gu Mingxi said. Pang Qian closed her door, and then Gu Mingxi lifted his foot to knock on his own house door. Li Han came to open the door for him.
After walking into his house, the first thing he did was head to the kitchen to drink water. He was pretty thirsty. He didn’t use a straw, or grab onto the cup with his foot. He just bent over and bit the cup, upturning it, and gulping down the water.
This method naturally meant that some of the water would drip down. It streamed down his chin and neck, onto his clothes. Li Han complained, “You got your clothes wet.”
Gu Mingxi bent over to put the cup back down. He turned his head to wipe the water on his mouth onto his s.h.i.+rt. “It’s okay, I’m going to take a shower right now.”
Li Han stood at the entrance to the kitchen, “Son, I’ll make you a bowl of dumplings. You hardly ate anything at dinner.”
Mothers really know (their children) best. Gu Mingxi felt all warm inside, as he smiled and said, “It’s okay, Mom. Pang Qian and I ate, stir fried noodles and lamb skewers.”
Li Han was silent a moment, then muttered, “Don’t eat at these street vendors in the future. It’s not clean.”
Gu Mingxi laughed, “I’m going to shower.”
“Do you want me to help scrub your back?”
“No, thanks.”
After Gu Mingxi finished was.h.i.+ng up, he walked out and back to his room, in only his underpants. When he entered, he was startled to see Li Han sitting on the edge of his bed. “Mom!”
Li Han looked up at him, eyes all red. Realizing how peculiar she seemed, Gu Mingxi couldn’t be bothered with putting his clothes on. He sat down next to her ans asked, “Mom, what’s wrong?”
Li Han didn’t answer him, but she replied, “Son, were you very unhappy today?”
That was pretty much a rhetorical question. Of course Gu Mingxi would be a bit unhappy, but he didn’t take any of it to heart. And especially after eating with Pang Qian, he didn’t really care anymore.
He was very close to his mom, so he just told her the truth. “When we were having dinner, I was a bit [upset], but not anymore. Mom, it’s not like you don’t know. Grandpa, Grandma, and Aunt have always been like this.”
Li Han looked at her son’s bare body. Her son really grew up. His height and his body were already becoming like an adult’s. But no matter how you looked at it, his cut off shoulders were very glaring.
She touched her hand to his shoulder. Gu Mingxi didn’t move away, but he frowned. “Mom…”
“Sometimes I’ll have a dream,” Li Han said. “In my dream, you still have your arms. You’re just like all the other kids, very healthy…”
“Mom–” Gu Mingxi dragged out this word, cutting off Li Han. Moving her shoulder from her hand, “Please, stop saying these things, okay?”
Li Han wiped at her eyes. “Mingxi, I’ve been thinking a lot recently. If I have another baby, what’s going to happen to you? What will your dad leave for you in the future? If I can’t have another baby, then what happens with the two of us? Your grandpa wants another grandchild, and he’s already older than 70. Your father is very filial, so he wants to have another child. But I’m already 42 years old…”
Her words became incoherent, gradually drowned out by her tears. She’d never said these types of things to Gu Mingxi before. She didn’t know who she should talk to about it. Her marriage was already on thin ice.
Li Han and Gu Guoxiang got together of their own volition. When Gu Guoxiang pursued her, he was timid but persistent. At that time, he was a top student who had just entered the factory. He was handsome and ambitious. And she was the factory flower (prettiest girl), chased after by all the young men. She was gentle and graceful.
At the start, Grandpa Gu didn’t agree to their marriage, because Li Han was from a different province. He wanted Gu Guoxiang to find a girl from their own area. They would have a better understanding of her, and it would be more convenient during New Year’s celebrations.
Gu Guoxiang and Li Han didn’t succ.u.mb to the pressures at home, and they finally ended up together. They even had a cute little Gu Mingxi…
Now, Li Han no longer had her pure and beautiful face from back then, although her figure hadn’t changed that much. But the wrinkles on her face were obviously present, and there were some spots around her eyes too. She’d worked too hard for so many years, and she’d been a bit depressed the past few years as well. She nearly didn’t recognize the image she saw in the mirror anymore.
Gu Mingxi sat quietly beside Li Han, unsure of how to comfort her. He really wanted to embrace his mother, so he leaned over against her body.
His head rested on his mother’s shoulder. A long while later, Li Han finally raised her arms and embraced him tightly.
She choked out, “Son, why do have such unfortunate luck.”
Gu Mingxi had many things he wanted to say. But in the end, he could only say, “Mom, it’s not that my luck is bad. I will succeed.”
Li Han left Gu Mingxi’s room. He lied on his bed, in a daze.
Actually, there was something he didn’t understand. Why did everyone doubt him, why did they think that he had no future? He was only lacking two arms. It made his life a bit inconvenient, but he never despaired about it.
He couldn’t dance, but he could sing. He couldn’t play piano, but he could draw. He couldn’t play ball, but he could run. In the future, he wouldn’t be able to be a doctor, a policeman, a teacher, a driver, a chef… He could be a lawyer, an artist, a radio DJ, a stock market trader… He could even work in finance like his mother said.
Gu Mingxi also wanted to learn how to use a computer. He didn’t have hands, but he had feet. He’d seen his dad using the computer before, and he was sure that he’d be able to learn how.
He wasn’t the only person in this world without arms. There were even people who were blind, deaf, lame, or even quadriplegic… They were living well, and some were even successful in their line of work. Gu Mingxi pressed his chin against himself, looking at his crippled shoulders of ten years. Undoubtedly, his body would leave some people surprised, even scared. And the way he did things might make some people uncomfortable, but for Gu Mingxi, that didn’t mean much.
Maybe it was because his arms were amputated when he was young. Maybe it was because he was just 16 years old now. In any case, the feelings he had towards his relatives’ longstanding doubts and contempt for him… Rather than feeling wronged, angry, aggrieved, or resigned, he felt an unwillingness to give in (or give up).
—-
On the first day of high school, Gu Guoxiang drove Gu Mingxi and Pang Qian to school.
Gu Guoxiang had bought a car, a black (Volkswagen) Santana. Pang Qian felt that he was really amazing. The things most parked at the Golden Compound were bikes and motorbikes. The number of personal cars could be counted on one hand.
When they arrived to the school gates, Gu Guoxiang didn’t leave the car. Instead, Li Han brought the kids inside. Li Han had previously met the recruitment teacher at First High, but she hadn’t met Gu Mingxi’s head teacher. Taking advantage of this chance, she decided she had to accompany the kids inside so she could see the teacher.
Fortunately, Gu Mingxi and Pang Qian were both in Cla.s.s 2. Pang Qian looked over the cla.s.s roster posted on the wall. She didn’t see Xie Yi’s name, which left her a bit disappointed.
She was looking over the roster for other cla.s.ses, when Gu Mingxi walked up to her, “Pang Pang, let’s go.”
Pang Qian reluctantly followed him up the stairs. She went into their cla.s.sroom, but Gu Mingxi followed Li Han to the teacher’s office to meet his head teacher.
First Year, Cla.s.s 2’s cla.s.sroom was on the fourth floor. There were already several students in the room. Pang Qian had looked over the cla.s.s roster, and other than Gu Mingxi, she didn’t know anyone. She walked into the cla.s.sroom with her backpack on, and with a glance around, she saw that in the last row, next to the window, there was that special desk.
Pang Shuisheng had found someone to custom build that desk. He’d already done it three times now. When Gu Mingxi got taller, the desk had to be remade to suit him. Whenever Pang Shuisheng saw Gu Mingxi, he’d always pat his shoulders and say in a loud voice, “Kid, lift your head up, chest out, back straight! You’re always bent over when you’re writing. Be careful you don’t become a hunchback.”
On this point, Pang Qian was always grateful to her father. She walked over to the combined high and low desk, naturally sitting down at the higher half.
Her action caused a bit of commotion in the room. The two boys sitting in front of her turned around. One of them had his hair shaved short and flat. He seemed very st.u.r.dy, the kind of person Pang Qian would describe as “masculine.” His forehead was also sporting a bit of acne. He stared at Pang Qian for a moment, then hesitatingly asked, “Cla.s.smate, why are you sitting there?”
“Why can’t I sit here?” Pang Qian asked curiously.
“I heard…” He mysteriously lowered his voice, “There’s a disabled boy in our cla.s.s. I heard he doesn’t have arms. And he’s sitting there.”
He pointed his finger toward the lower half of the desk. Pang Qian’s eyes casually followed his finger. She said, “That’s right, there’s a boy without arms. I’m his deskmate.”
“Deskmate?” the other boy asked uncertainly. He wore gla.s.ses and had had tanned skin. He didn’t look too bad. He asked Pang Qian, “You know him?”
“Mm.” Pang Qian observed them carefully, and saw that the two boys didn’t have any ill intentions. They were simply curious. Her tone became a bit more friendly, as she explained, “I was in the same cla.s.s as him since elementary school, and we were deskmates for six years. He went to the teacher’s office, and he’ll be here soon.”
The two boys nodded, then laughed. The flat haired boy smiled and said, “I’m Zhou Nanzhong. What’s your name?”
“Pang Qian. Pang as in pangda (enormous), Qian as in qiannü youhun (A Chinese Ghost Story, story/film).”
“Xiao Qian!” The boy with gla.s.ses laughed out loud. “I’m w.a.n.g Song.”
Gu Mingxi carried his backpack and entered the cla.s.sroom. With a glance around, he saw Pang Qian sitting next to his seat. It had already been two years since they were deskmates. Thinking of her returning to his side again made Gu Mingxi quite delighted.
And then he saw Pang Qian chatting with the boys in front of her. They had turned around, and one of them was resting his arm on Pang Qian’s desk. The three of them were full of smiles, chatting very happily.
“Mingxi.”
When Li Han called him, Gu Mingxi turned around. Li Han helped him neaten his s.h.i.+rt collar and then pulled at his sleeves to ease up his s.h.i.+rt. She said, “Teacher Dai will arrange for a male student to help you use the restroom in the future. It will all be voluntary, and if they’re not happy about it, don’t force it. I’m sure that with more than 20 male students in your cla.s.s, there will be a few like Jian Zhe or Liu Hanlin, who’d be happy to help.”
Gu Mingxi nodded, “I know, Mom.”
“And Qian Qian will be able to help you with everything else, so I can rest a.s.sured. When you have lunch or milk, when you need to carry books and change cla.s.srooms, Qian Qian will help you.”
“I know.”
“Don’t fight with other kids at school. If someone bullies you, just tell the teacher and tell me when you get home. Don’t get confrontational with them. You won’t be able to beat them in a fight.”
Gu Mingxi didn’t know what to say. “Mom, I’m not a little kid. Who’s going to bully me…”
“You never know. There are some kids who are just bad. Zhang Jiaqi from the compound is two years older than you, and even in junior high, he was still causing trouble.” Li Han knocked Gu Mingxi on the head. “When school is over, be sure to take the bus home with Qian Qian. It will be safer. Ah… But what will we do later.”
Gu Mingxi couldn’t stand it anymore. “Mom, you’re nagging a lot. Hurry and go back, Dad’s still waiting for you. I have to go in too.”
Li Han rambled off a few more words before she left the school.
Gu Mingxi took a deep breath outside the cla.s.sroom, and then walked inside from the back door. The room quieted in an instant. Gu Mingxi lifted his head up, chest out, doing his best to ignore the strange stares. He only looked at Pang Qian, walking over to her, a step at a time.
He shook his shoulders and dropped his backpack to his desk. He sat down at his desk, and took off the flip flops on his feet. With his feet on the desk, he reached inside his backpack.
Sometimes Pang Qian would lend him a hand, and he didn’t reject her help. Zhou Nanzhong and w.a.n.g Song turned around, looking at Gu Mingxi with calm and friendly gazes. Gu Mingxi smiled at them and said, “I’m Gu Mingxi. What are your names?”
—-
After discussing together, Gu Mingxi and Pang Qian decided it would be best to take the bus to and from school.
Biking from the Golden Compound to First High took more than half an hour, and they would have to cross two bridges. Gu Mingxi riding downhill was really dangerous. Pang Qian felt that they couldn’t put on Gu Mingxi’s life on the line like that.
During the first week of school, they had military training. Gu Mingxi had never partic.i.p.ated in elementary school and junior high. When he brought up partic.i.p.ating this time, his head teacher, Teacher Dai considered and then agreed.
I don’t really know what’s up with the military training. Seems like it’s something students do for a week or two in their first year of high school and university (and I guess for junior high, etc.). I read that it’s sort of to build patriotism and the like, and less about actually being trained to join the military.
Early in the morning, Pang Qian and Gu Mingxi walked out the door. The two of them wore camouflage uniforms, carrying a flask of water and a lunch box, as they walked to the bus stop. According the to the adults’ instructions, they took the 31 bus.
There were a lot of people on the bus, and Pang Qian was nearly squished flat. She kept pus.h.i.+ng Gu Mingxi inside, and when they got to the middle of the bus, they finally found a comfortable spot. The two of them stood very close to each other.
“Is it going to be like this every day in the future?”Pang Qian wiped the sweat from her forehead, and then saw that Gu Mingxi’s face was also covered in sweat. She pulled out a bag of napkins from her pocket, and then helped him wipe his face.
Gu Mingxi looked a bit uncomfortable. Pang Qian ignored the odd looks from those around them. She lifted her head to look at the map in the bus, and counted that they’d need to take the bus for nine stops.
“This is the worst.” Pang Qian thought about spending three years doing this and became cold. “Gu Mingxi, it’s all because of you. I hate crowded buses the most. Being squeezed like this for three years is going to be the worst. After training today, you’re going to have to buy me a popsicle to make it up to me!”
The rickety bus kept going. Gu Mingxi was silent for awhile, then reminded her, “Pang Pang, you don’t have to do this for three years. Our new house is being finished and furnished. My dad said that it would be done by early October. After another two months, we’ll be able to move in in December.”
Pang Qian got back her senses, and stared at him a moment. Then she said, “Then how are you going to go to school on your own in the future?”
“Take the bus. I’ll just hang the IC (integrated circuit?) card around my neck and scan it when I get on.” Gu Mingxi had already thought it all out. “My house is at the first stop, so there will be seats when I get on. And when I transfer buses in the city, I only have to ride the bus for three stops. If the second bus is very crowded, then I can just walk the rest of the way.”
“Gu Mingxi…” Pang Qian held back for a long time, finally saying, “I can’t do my homework with you in the future anymore. What if my test scores are at the bottom?”
Gu Mingxi thought for a long time before answering her. “If there’s something you don’t understand, you can ask me at school, anytime. If you don’t want other people to say stuff about us, then I can go to your house on the weekends to help you. Of course, you have to be willing to listen.”
Pang Qian smiled, “Of course I am!”
After another while, she said, “Gu Mingxi, let’s get into the same university.”
“Hm?” Gu Mingxi looked at her, startled, his eyes s.h.i.+ning slightly.
Pang Qian glared at him. “What?! You don’t want to?”
“That’s not it.” Gu Mingxi lowered his head and smiled. “Okay, we agreed to it. You can’t go back on your word.”
Pang Qian nodded furiously. “I definitely won’t.”
The military training was really tough. The sun was really strong, and several students had fainted from heat stroke. The school was worried that something might happen. So they notified all the first year students to go indoors to avoid the sun.
Teacher Dai was a young, female English teacher. She didn’t listen to the higher official’s words, and instead brought the students from Cla.s.s 2 to a shaded area of the schoolyard. They all sat down in a circle.
Around them, there were several trees. After some tens of years, they’d grown st.u.r.dy with many leaves. Although the sun was strong, the shade and the breeze made it feel much cooler.
Teacher Dai had everyone in the cla.s.s introduce themselves, and also suggested playing a game. Everyone had to use English to translate an introduction. This type of introduction was also a bit different. Aside from the general introductions, everyone had to name an animal that represented themselves. First, a student would introduce themselves [in English], and the next student would translate it, until they went through the whole cla.s.s.
She wanted to take this opportunity to understand the cla.s.s’ English proficiency. Pang Qian was stressed out. Her (English) speaking was very poor, and she sat next to Gu Mingxi. She couldn’t wait to dig a hole and sink into it.
Teacher Dai randomly pointed to a male student to start. He was very at ease, even standing up before speaking. “My name is x.x.x, I’m from x.x.x Middle School. I like xx, xx, and xx. I think that I’m like a dog. Loyal, lively, astute…”
When he was done, Teacher Dai pointed to the girl next to him to translate. When she was done, she gave her own introduction. The students had gotten into a well ranked school, so their ability was, of course, pretty good. They picked up the game very quickly, and continued on, one after another.
When it was Pang Qian’s turn, she stood out and stammered a few sentences, and quickly sat back down.
Teacher Dai pointed to Gu Mingxi, “This student, translate.”
Gu Mingxi felt that translating Pang Qian’s introduction was a bit humiliating, but he stood up to say, “The student just now is called Pang Qian. She’s from Origin of Flight Middle School. She likes reading books and the newspaper and swimming. She thinks that she’s like a crab, because…her last name is Pang (pangxie means crab).
All the students laughed out loud, and Pang Qian’s face flushed red. She lowered her head, her fingers gripping at her camouflage pants.
Teacher Dai gestured for the students to quiet down. She smiled and said, “Now it’s your turn to introduce yourself.”
Gu Mingxi nodded, cleared his throat, and then started. He spoke extremely fluently, as if he’d already planned and practiced it. He spoke with a quick pace and it sounded very good. Pang Qian didn’t understand it. As he spoke, Pang Qian saw a gentle smile appear on Teacher Dai’s face.
When Gu Mingxi finished, Teacher Dai pointed at w.a.n.g Song, “Student, come and translate it.”
w.a.n.g Song was dumbfounded, as he scratched his head and said, “Teacher, I didn’t understand… I know that his name is Gu Mingxi and that he came from Origin of Flight Middle School, but everything else…”
“That’s okay.” Teacher Dai asked another girl, “Can you translate it?”
Her face turned red as she shook her head.
Teacher Dai asked, “Is there a student who can translate it?”
“I’ll try,” a crisp female voice sounded. Gu Mingxi turned around and saw a short girl, with gla.s.ses and short hair, patting off the dust from her bottom as she stood up. Her face was oval shaped and looked very gentle.
She looked at Gu Mingxi and smiled, then started translating in a loud voice.
“I think that I am an ostrich. But not the kind in the saying “ostrich mentality,” where an ostrich deceives itself, burying its head in the sand when an enemy approaches, as if because I’m unable to see my enemy, they also won’t see me. I think I’m an ostrich because the ostrich is the largest living bird on the earth. Its wings have become vestigial, and it cannot fly. But the ostrich has a pair of robust legs. It can run very fast, and it’s legs are very powerful, even able to beat out many of its stronger predators. I’m like an ostrich. I don’t have wings, so I can only count on my two legs. But so what. The ostrich is the world’s largest bird, and I believe that I can become a strong (powerful, formidable) person.”
When she finished, she looked at Gu Mingxi, then at Teacher Dai. “Teacher, my translation is complete. I’m not sure if I got it right.”
Teacher Dai said, “Why don’t we ask Gu Mingxi.”
Gu Mingxi’s face was a bit pale, his eyes dark and deep. With an, “Mm,” he sat down.
The girl also sat down, a slight smile on her face.
Pang Qian pulled at his sleeves, then asked into his ear, “Did she translate it correctly?”
“Mm…”
“Why… Why did you say all that in your introduction?”
Gu Mingxi frowned. He whispered back into her ear, “I thought no one would understand. There were a lot of words that we didn’t learn in junior high. This was a journal entry I wrote once for English. I didn’t know that she would be able to understand.”
At this time, the short haired girl introduced herself. “h.e.l.lo everyone, my name is Xiao Yujing. I’m from E City’s Fifth Middle School. Before junior high, I lived in South Africa. My dad is a zoologist and works at E City’s zoo now. When I was in elementary school, our family kept many ostriches as pets…”
Gu Mingxi, “…”
Pang Qian pulled at his sleeves again. “What did she say? Did she say something about ostriches too?”
Gu Mingxi was listening attentively, then gnashed his teeth, “Be quiet!”
Pang Qian pinched his waist, and whispered, “Gu Mingxi, you dare to yell at me!”
