45 | Making a Fool of Yourself
I’ve always thought that his achievements and him having no arms are completely unrelated.

Pang Qian sat at the back of the cla.s.sroom. Beside her was Xiao Yujing’s deskmate, Xiao Chen. The two of them weren’t close. They exchanged awkward glances, but didn’t have anything to say to each other.

Pang Qian saw Gu Mingxi, who was sitting right in front of the teacher’s lectern. In order for him to sit comfortably, the entire second row of desks had been s.h.i.+fted back slightly. Pang Qian rested her chin on her crossed arms, staring at the back of Gu Mingxi’s head. She suddenly recalled that period in junior high, when the two of them sat at opposite corners. Gu Mingxi probably looked at her like this.

Because the program was conducting interviews, their cla.s.ses had been adjusted, so the first cla.s.s was English. The entire rest of the cla.s.s had become a supporting cast, to show off the excellence and perfection of the male lead. Pang Qian finally understood Teacher Dai’s intentions. The camera was set up in front of Gu Mingxi and Xiao Yujing. The two of them stood, practicing their English loudly and fluently.

The next cla.s.s was Chinese. The teacher asked a question and had Gu Mingxi stand up to answer it. Pang Qian saw the camera quickly follow his face, but Gu Mingxi continued on as if nothing had happened. He stood still and spoke.

The third cla.s.s was chemistry. Everyone went over to the lab room. Gu Mingxi conducted the experiment with his feet, along with Xiao Yujing’s help. The whole process was recorded by the camera.

The only thing was that Xiao Yujing lit and extinguished the alcohol lamp. Pang Qian wondered why they didn’t let Gu Mingxi do that part. He was obviously very practiced with it.

When Pang Qian and Gu Mingxi were together, Gu Mingxi never let her touch the fire.

The fourth cla.s.s was physical education. The TV station said they wanted to film Gu Mingxi’s activities outdoors. After all, an excellent student couldn’t only be good at studying. He should be able to strike a balance between work and fun.

Usually, Gu Mingxi would also partic.i.p.ate in physical education. He would run and do the long jump. When the other boys played ball or pull-ups or throwing(?), Gu Mingxi sat at the side quietly watching.

This time, the teacher had all the boys line up and run. Gu Mingxi was at the end of the line. The cameraman stood off the field, his camera following Gu Mingxi the whole way. At the same time, Pang Qian’s gaze also followed him.

Whtn Gu Mingxi ran, it looked rather strange. Because he had no arms, his white s.h.i.+rt sleeves continually danced in the wind. His hair stuck up against his forehead, but his face looked extremely calm.

Pang Qian stared awhile, then finally pulled her eyes away. At this time, Xiao Yujing walked up to her and said quietly, “Crab, after school, you should spend some time with Gu Mingxi. His mood doesn’t seem to be very good today.”

Pang Qian was silent a moment, then asked, “Why is he in a bad mood?”

Xiao Yujing lowered her voice even more. “Teacher Dai said that the TV station had to film him eating with his feet. They had to film some aspects of his personal life after all. He was pretty unhappy about it, but there was nothing else to be done.”

Pang Qian, “…”

At lunch, the cameraman really followed Gu Mingxi to the cafeteria. This time, Zhou Nanzhong helped him get his food. Four boys sat around the table. Gu Mingxi lifted his foot up and lowered his head, eating silently.

The cameraman said, “Student Gu, chat a bit with your cla.s.smates while you’re eating. Look a bit happier.”

Gu Mingxi was speechless, but he could only pull his lips up into a smile. To w.a.n.g Song, he said, “Is your pork chop…good?”

w.a.n.g Song answered after a moment, “I-it’s good. Do you want some? I can get some for you.”

Gu Mingxi shook his head, still smiling. “No, thanks. I don’t like pork.”

w.a.n.g Song, “…”

Before the afternoon cla.s.ses, the filming was pretty much done. The female reported interviewed Gu Mingxi briefly. She asked about his dreams.

Gu Mingxi stood up straight, facing the camera. He spoke into the microphone, “I want to study well, get into a good college, study something that I’ll be able to do with my body, and find a job after I graduated. I want to, with my own abilities, become a useful person to society.”

The female reporter asked, “After you became disabled, did you ever feel despair, like giving up?”

Gu Mingxi shook his head, “No.”

“Never, not even once?”

“Never.”

The female reporter was caught off guard. She turned to the cameraman and said, “Wait, let’s do this part again.”

She said to Gu Mingxi, “Student Gu, think about this response. After you lost your arms, you lost your confidence in life, you were on the brink of collapse. But because of your mother’s care, your teachers’ encouragement, your cla.s.smates’ help, you gradually learned to use your feet to do things. Slowly, you built up your confidence.”

Gu Mingxi frowned, “Why do I have to respond like that?”

“Because…” The reporter thought a bit. “This way, your story has ups and downs. I’m sure that when you first lost your arms, you despaired a lot, right?”

This was his life. But in someone elses’ eyes, it was just a story.

Gu Mingxi didn’t respond. He didn’t intend to explain himself to this stranger. They were all putting on a performance after all. So he answered her question once more, his complexion remained the same, his heartbeat still stable. He even answered with very sincere eyes.

The female reporter was satisfied.

Afterwards, the reporter had Teacher Dai arrange several students to be interviewed, to ask about their impressions of Gu Mingxi. Teacher Dai quickly found four people.

Xiao Yujing smiled to the camera. “I’m Gu Mingxi’s deskmate, and I’ve known him for nearly a year. I really admire him. He’s very studious, never late, and he even draws really well. Whatever we can do with our hands, he can also do with his feet. I hope that he can get into the college he wants. And I’m sure that he will find success.”

Zhou Nanzhong, “Gu Mingxi’s writing with his feet looks better than my writing with my hands. Even when it’s cold in the winter, he bares his feet to do things. It really makes you admire him.”

w.a.n.g Song, “Aside from being a good student, he has a lot of interests. We often play soccer/football together. He’s not at all introverted, and he’s really easy to get along with.”

Pang Qian blinked, “…”

The reporter said, “Student, say something!”

Pang Qian spoke into the microphone, “Say what?”

“Tell us your impression of Gu Mingxi.”

Pang Qian thought for a long time, then said, “Gu Mingxi is… He’s… He… He’s a good person. He gets good grades. My grades aren’t good, but he always helps explain things to me. He’s a bit… He likes to lecture people? Whenever he performs well, he never says it, but I know that he’s really satisfied inside. He has a good temper, but he sort of likes to decide and do things on his own…”

“…” The reporter cut her off. She asked, “Gu Mingxi doesn’t have arms. What difficulties do you think he’s had to overcome to reach his achievements today?”

Pang Qian was silent, then finally said, “I’ve always thought that his achievements and him having no arms are completely unrelated.”

“Alright, Student, we’re done recording.” The beautiful reporter was about to take back the microphone, “Let’s wrap it up.”

Pang Qian grabbed the microphone back and said, “Can I say one last thing?”

“?”

Pang Qian held onto the microphone and spoke towards the camera, “In my eyes, Gu Mingxi isn’t special at all. He’s just like me, just like all of us. If he’s able to join the Group of Oustanding Students, it’s because he was originally outstanding, not because… Not because his body…”

The female reporter pulled the microphone back, and looked strangely at Pang Qian. “Student, we’re really done recording.”

Pang Qian quietly loosened her grip.

After the people from the TV station left, Zhou Nanzhong and w.a.n.g Song helped Gu Mingxi move his desk back to the corner by the window.

Gu Mingxi was deskmates with Pang Qian again. The two of them looked at each other. They stared and stared, and then smiled. Gu Mingxi said, “Today was really exhausting.”

Pang Qian asked, “Do you think you’ll get the award?”

“I don’t know.”

“I just told the reporter about you (lit. I spoke up for you / I helped you speak),” Pang Qian said shyly. “I don’t know if they’ll air it.”

Gu Mingxi asked her curiously, “What did you say?”

“Not telling you.” Pang Qian smiled. “If it airs, you’ll know.”

Gu Mingxi’s lips curved into a smile. Pang Qian thought of Xiao Yujing’s words and said, “Hey, Gu Mingxi, after school, let’s go walk around the little marketplace. Then we’ll go home, okay?”

The so-called marketplace was just a collective group of street vendors next to the park. The park was free to enter, and there were some street vendors who were afraid of being caught (by the police), so they’d slip into the park. As time pa.s.sed, some twenty something vendors gathered together in the park. Pang Qian called this the little marketplace.

Next to the park was a primary school. When school was over, the kids loved to flock to the food stalls. Although Pang Qian was already in high school, she was still a glutton. Before Gu Mingxi moved, she often dragged him here to buy snacks. After Gu Mingxi moved, they’d never been back.

Pang Qian parked her bike at the park gate, and then walked inside with Gu Mingxi. Before they saw the food stalls, they could smell the aroma floating in the air.

Pang Qian pulled 10 dollars out of her pocket and said happily, “My treat today. I haven’t had fried tofu in ages.”

She bought two sticks of fried tofu, and she and Gu Mingxi sat down on a bench inside the park. She ate a bite, then fed Gu Mingxi a bit. Gu Mingxi was silent the whole time. After Pang Qian watched him for awhile, she said, “Forget about it. The filming’s already over. It would be different if you hadn’t agreed with Teacher Dai to film it, but since you agreed to it, what’s there to think about?”

Gu Mingxi said unconvincingly, “Who said I was thinking about that?”

“What else then? Are you thinking about the girl you like?”

During the past two months, she could occasionally bring up this unknown girl. With a headache, Gu Mingxi said, “Can you stop talking about her?”

“I told you to invite her out together one day, but you didn’t want to.” Pang Qian curled her lips, “You won’t even tell me her name. You’re so petty.”

Gu Mingxi endured it.

After awhile, he said, “Pang Pang, does E City’s education channel broadcast across the whole city?”

“Yeah, it’s on channel 5.”

“I don’t know what it’ll be like after it airs.” Gu Mingxi let out a sigh. “I thought they were just going to film a cla.s.s. I didn’t know that they were going to film me eating, was.h.i.+ng my face, putting on my shoes, writing… Tell me, what’s so interesting about that stuff? It’s like other people don’t eat or wash their face.”

Pang Qian poked his shoulder. “Gu Mingxi, are you worried about something?”

“…” Gu Mingxi turned to look at her. He shook his head, “It’s nothing”

When it was time for E City’s extraordinary youth program to air with Gu Mingxi, Pang Qian and her parents had already settled in front of their TV set. The host first introduced the main character of the week. A close up of a pair of legs appeared on the screen. The left foot was sitting on top of a desk, and the right was holding a pen, writing down his name.

The lens was pushed up very close. Pang Qian could see the short, clean toes, the leg that projected out, and the green veins on the back of his foot. Beautiful letters appeared on the book he wrote on. She could even see the chain on Gu Mingxi’s ankle. She cried out excitedly to Pang Shuisheng, “Dad! I gave Gu Mingxi that chain!”

The camera pulled back, and finally the rest of his body could be seen. Gu Mingxi’s whole person appeared on the screen. His head was bowed as he sat in front of the custom-made desk, his feet resting on the top of it as he wrote. His white s.h.i.+rt sleeves hung gently at his sides. Looking at it from the TV screen, Gu Mingxi’s face felt a bit unfamiliar, but he looked more handsome than in real life.

Jin Ai’hua was removing the sh.e.l.l of melon seeds. She said, “I haven’t seen Gu Mingxi in a few months, and he seems to have grown a bit more. He really is looking more and more handsome.”

Pang Shuisheng was very in something. “Pang Pang, aren’t you Gu Mingxi’s deskmate?”

“Of course!” Pang Qian pointed at Xiao Yujing on the screen, and explained loudly, “They’re just acting!”

Pang Shuisheng’s eyes widened. “Why? Because you’re not as pretty as that girl? I don’t see it.”

Pang Qian, “…”

The entire program was about introducing Gu Mingxi and his daily activities. Using his feet to put his things away in his backpack, using his feet to write, read, take exams. Using his feet to eat, eating as he laughed with his cla.s.smates. He could use his feet to work on a science experiment. He wasn’t introverted. He partic.i.p.ated in physical education cla.s.s like everyone else. Under the blue sky, he ran quickly…

When the reporter was interviewing Teacher Dai, Pang Qian said, “The ending is definitely going to be our interviews, Dad! I was interviewed too!”

She was correct. Right after, there was Xiao Yujing’s interview. And then Zhou Nanzhong and w.a.n.g Song, and Gu Mingxi himself.

They cut out Pang Qian’s interview. She was really disappointed. She stared Gu Mingxi on the screen, who was speaking into the microphone, his face very calm. “When my arms were just amputated, I couldn’t accept the truth that I no longer had arms. I was filled with despair and on the verge of giving up. At the time, I felt like a useless person, unable to do anything. I lost all hope. Later on, because my mother…”

Pang Qian turned to look at Pang Shuisheng. “Dad, when Gu Mingxi first lost his arms, was he really filled with despair?”

“Was he?” Pang Shuisheng looked back into his memories, but he couldn’t quite recall it. He asked Pang Qian, “Didn’t you play with him often then? Did you ever get that impression?”

“No.” Pang Qian curled her lips. “I even think I remember him comforting me, telling me not to be afraid.”

On the other side of the city, Gu Mingxi and his parents were also watching the program. Halfway through, Gu Guoxiang silently stood up. He walked to the balcony with a cigarette in hand.

After he finished his smoke, he came back inside. Gu Mingxi was currently discussing with Li Han whether or not this program would be helpful to him getting into college. They were still thinking about it when Gu Guoxiang strode in and turned off the TV. He turned back and glared sternly at Gu Mingxi. “Who told you to film this? Who?! Who allowed you to film this?! Do you still consider me as your father? Ah? Who was it that agreed to let you film this kind of disgraceful thing?!”