83 | Another Person
I’m never believing you again! Give me back my Gu Mingxi!

Xie Yi booked two rooms at a four star hotel in heart of S City. It was Christmas Eve, so the hotel rates were extremely expensive. Pang Qian felt very sorry and had wanted to pay for her own room, but the cost for one night was nearly an entire month’s living expenses for her. She could only suggest going to the Jinjiang Inn (cheaper hotel chain) next door, but with just one glance from Xie Yi, she quieted.

He said, “I said this was a prize. I’m giving you a prize for still being able to recognize my voice after so long. Just take it as you’re accompanying me to play over Christmas.”

Pang Qian said quietly, “I’ve been listening to your voice for more than ten years, how could I not recognize it?”

Xie Yi stretched out his arm and gave her a pat on the head. He picked up their room cards and said, “It’s late. Go and sleep. Tomorrow morning, we’ll head to Z City to find him.”

When she got to her room, Pang Qian felt that she was living out a dream. A few hours ago, she was back in her dorm in Shanghai arguing with Yang Lu, and then meeting Sheng Feng awkwardly. A few hours had pa.s.sed, and she was actually in the faraway S City.

She took a shower, the warm water wearing away her fatigue. She couldn’t sleep, so she stood by the window and looked out at all the snow outside.

So this was what the northern winters were like. Such dry air, such biting coldness, so much white. Just looking at if left your face a little painful. In this kind of weather, Gu Mingxi would definitely be having a hard time. She wondered if he would get frostbite. He shouldn’t ever foolishly walk out on the streets without proper shoes on. The temperature outside was much lower than it ever got in E City. Just standing outside briefly earlier, she couldn’t handle the cold wind. She couldn’t imagine the kind of life Gu Mingxi had there. He must not be very accustomed to it, and that’s why he’d gotten so thin.

Pang Qian knew that Gu Mingxi had run into some troubles. He didn’t like his major at school. Li Han’s sickness had relapsed. But how could he cut off contact with her just because of that?

Pang Shuisheng told Pang Qian that Gu Mingxi had looked for him when he was in E City. He was there to get reimbursed for Li Han’s medical fees. When Pang Qian found out that Li Han had cancer, she was very shocked and even more anxious to find Gu Mingxi.

She knew that he must be feeling a lot of pressure. Although she wasn’t at his side, and she couldn’t help much, but at least she could talk to him and carry a little bit of that burden with him.

She could go over to visit him. Gu Mingxi didn’t know that in order to visit him, Pan Qian had continually been saving money. Such a far trip was considered a luxury for a child from a working cla.s.s family, but Pang Qian was still able to save some money with hard work. And yet, every time she brought up visiting Z City, Gu Mingxi always blocked her from going.

With conflicted feelings, Pang Qian got into bed. She thought to herself that, in the end, she still made it here. If there were no accidents, she would very quickly be able to find Gu Mingxi.

 

The next day, Pang Qian and Xie Yi left early in the morning. In order to save time, Xie Yi decided to just take a taxi all the way to Z City, regardless of the price. Pang Qian had already completely dropped the idea of paying for her half of things. How could she keep up with the spending of a son from a wealthy family? It was best not to argue at this time.

“When we get back, you have to treat me to a meal. I heard the food at your cafeteria is really good,” Xie Yi said.

Pang Qian laughed, “Definitely.”

“And you have to invite me out to play ping pong,” Xie Yi said. “You don’t even know. When I played with my friends from America, they even asked if I was an Olympic champion.”

Pang Qian, “…”

The taxi ride to Z City took more than two hours. When they got there, the driver didn’t know his way around, so Xie Yi and Pang Qian had to get of and find a local taxi driver. Pang Qian gave him Gu Mingxi’s grandmother’s address, and they quickly arrived in the neighborhood.

When they took the stairs up, Pang Qian felt very excited. She hadn’t ever thought she’d show up there. With just a knock on the door, she’d have found Gu Mingxi.

But in the end, she was only left disappointed. It was a 60 year old woman who opened the door. She carried a child in her arms and told Pang Qian that she’d bought the house at the start of the year. The people who lived there previously had long ago moved away.

Pang Qian asked, “Do you know where they moved to?”

The woman shook her head. “How could I know that? I went through an agent to buy the house. Oh, right…” She went inside the house and came back out with a pile of envelopes. “They’re all from B University for a kid named Gu Mingxi. If you two find the people who owned this place previously, please tell them to change their address and stop sending these letters here.”

Pang Qian took the letters and exchanged a glance with Xie Yi. Xie Yi decided, “Let’s go to B University.”

Pang Qian really admired Xie Yi. When they arrived at B University, he didn’t bother looking for any teachers. He just asked around and headed straight to the male dorm where the soph.o.m.ores in software engineering lived. Pang Qian waited at the bottom of the building and Xie Yi went to ask around. Half an hour later, he came down and told Pang Qian some news that hit like a bolt of lightening on a clear day. After freshman year, Gu Mingxi had already submitted the papers for withdrawal from the school.

Pang Qian was stupefied and her eyes immediately reddened. Xie Yi said, “Crab, first don’t worry. I asked them for their cla.s.s instructor’s phone number. Let’s go ask about it. Withdrawing from school doesn’t necessarily mean he’s cut off contact.”

The instructor was a Mr. Zhang, a young and enthusiastic teacher. When he received Xie Yi’s call, he quickly headed over from his residence. When he saw Pang Qian and Xie Yi, he succinctly asked about their relation with Gu Mingxi. Teacher Zhang said, “I’ve been looking for Gu Mingxi as well. The phone number we have on file from when he started has been disconnected, and his mother’s phone number is always off. I mailed some letters to the address we have, but he never responded to those either.”

Xie Yi asked, “Teacher Zhang, you must have some ideas. We’ve come from so far away, we’re really worried about Gu Mingxi.”

Teacher Zhang scratched his head, and then suddenly said, “When Gu Mingxi was studying at B University, he was staying in a rental house nearby. I’ve been there a few times. After he withdrew from cla.s.ses, I went to ask and the place is still under their names. They paid rent on the place until the end of the (lunar) year, but these past few months, he and his mother haven’t been living there.”

Xie Yi and Pang Qian’s hopes were immediately revived. Xie Yi said, “Teacher Zhang, can I trouble you to take us to that house to see?”

Teacher Zhang brought them to that old neighborhood and found the rental house that Gu Mingxi and Li Han had been staying at. The doors were locked, but Teacher Zhang found the landlord. After hearing the intent of these three people, the landlord finally agreed to open the door to the house.

When the door opened, Pang Qian and Xie Yi were both shocked. The place was very simple and crude. The fabric on the furniture were nearly completely faded. Everything inside was covered in a layer of dust. They walked inside and looked around, their hearts heavier and heavier.

Xie Yi saw some cobwebs in the corners of the room and couldn’t help saying, “This condition of this place isn’t that great. What’s Gu Mingxi up to. How could he live in a place like this?”

Pang Qian saw the bed in the living room and then walked over to the only bedroom in the place. Then she saw a special looking desk.

Gu Mingxi hadn’t ordered a new custom desk. He’d bought a children’s table with adjustable legs. He’d set the desk as low as he could, about 30 cm shorter than a normal desk.

Pang Qian walked over to the desk and brushed her hand across the top, leaving her fingerprints in he dust. Her Gu Mingxi had once sat there, two feet raised up onto the desk, skillfully working on his homework, reading, sending text messages, using the computer… But now, where was he?

Some clothes and daily necessities were also left in the room, but it wasn’t much. Pang Qian found a piece of paper and wrote a note for Gu Mingxi. She told him that she’d come by and hoped that when he saw the note, he could contact her.

When the were leaving the rental house, Pang Qian turned back for another look. She asked Xie Yi, “Do you think he’ll be able to read my note?”

Xie Yi nodded, “Yeah.”

“Then will he call me?”

Xie Yi thought for a moment and then shook his head, “I don’t know.”

He was a man, and men understood other men. He couldn’t bear to tell Pang Qian that by looking at this house, he knew that Gu Mingxi wasn’t doing well. Xie Yi felt that Gu MIngxi might disappear really disappear.

He could only comfort Pang Qian, “He’s taking a break from school, it’s just a break. Next September, he might go back. We have Teacher Zhang’s phone number, and I asked for a few numbers from Gu Mingxi’s cla.s.smates. When the time comes, we can call and ask about it.”

In the end, there was nothing he could do. He opened his arms and gave Pang Qian a hug. He said, “Crab, don’t cry. If he’s hiding from you on purpose, there’s nothing we can do. Gu Mingxi must be facing some problems, otherwise he definitely wouldn’t be able to leave you.”

Pang Qian was unable to say anything. She admitted that she was very useless. Faced with this kind of problem, all she knew to do was cry. She didn’t know how many tears she’d shed these past few months. How hateful she was! But that’s how worried she was. She just wanted to find her Gu Mingxi, that youth who had grown up alongside her. She didn’t care what kind of troubles he was facing. He didn’t have arms, was there something bigger than that? She didn’t care about that, so what else would bother her?

So, when someone wanted to disappear from another person’s world, it was actually this easy. Pang Qian cried in Xie Yi’s arms and then choked out, “Didn’t you say it was easy to find a person? Why is it that you never keep your words! Last time you said we’d be able to reach him in time! But then we didn’t! It’s the same this time! I’m never believing you again! Give me back my Gu Mingxi! Xie Yi, give me back my Gu Mingxi!”

Xie Yi felt more injustice than Dou E (story/play about a girl named Dou E). When he saw the surprised eyes of Teacher Zhang and the old landlord, he could only gently comfort Pang Qian, “Okay, okay, don’t cry. I’m always the bad one. Aiya, I promise, next time I’ll definitely help you find Gu Mingxi.”

“Next time?!” Pang Qian stood under the sky filled with snow, crying out loud. The large snowflakes fell onto hers and Xie Yi’s heads and clothes. She suddenly looked around her and kept calling out, “Gu Mingxi’s missing, (sounds of crying)… My Gu Mingxi, (sounds of crying)… Gu Mingxi…”

On the plane ride back to Shanghai, Xie Yi told jokes to Pang Qian and he did some magic tricks, but he was unable to make the girl beside him smile. Finally, Xie Yi said, “Little Crab, you’re not the only lovelorn one. I’ve been that way for several years, but I’ve never acted as desperately as you.”

“Who’s acting desperately!” Pang Qian glared at him with a pair of swollen eyes. She said, “Lovelorn! When have you even been lovelorn?! Zheng Qiaoqiao told me that you had a girlfriend in America!”

Xie Yi’s eyes widened. “What are you saying! When did I have a girlfriend!”

“I saw the pictures where you were acting very close to a girl.”

“…It’s just a photo. Don’t go around spreading rumors.” Xie Yi curled his lips. “I’m a very faithful guy.”

Pang Qian looked at him for awhile and then asked, “Do you still keep in touch with Xiao Yujing?”

“…” His originally lively eyes dimmed. In a low voice, he said, “We don’t contact each other much. Just the general ma.s.s messages over the holidays. I just send a message to say Happy New Year, Merry Christmas, Happy Lantern Festival, Happy Dragon Boat Festival, Happy National Day…”

Pang Qian was speechless. Xie Yi suddenly turned to her and said, “Little Crab, why don’t the two of us get together then? We’re in the same boat, and both situations are as bad as the other. And we’ve been friends for more than ten years. Who knows, maybe some sparks will fly in time.”

And which such silly talk, Pang Qian, who hadn’t smiled all day, suddenly smiled. She laughed heartily, her eyes still red. The travelers next to her looked at her as if she were crazy.

Xie Yi suddenly said, “What are you laughing about? Is being together with me something laughable?”

Pang Qian vigorously shook her head, but she didn’t say anything. She wouldn’t tell Xie Yi that there was a time when he existed in her diary as a prince, as a star, as an idol. A time when she looked on at him from afar. She’d never before thought that there would be a day that they would be sitting side by side like this, brazenly making jokes.

Time slipped away through the crevices. Outside the plane window, the night sky was like a giant black hole. It sucked away the time, sucked away the s.p.a.ce, sucked away their carefree childhood and youth. Pang Qian missed Gu Mingxi so much that for the first time in her life, she felt depressed, felt distressed, felt a deep fear. She was afraid that she’d never find Gu Mingxi again. If she couldn’t see him again in this lifetime, what would she do?

In this world, where would she be able to find another person who would look at her with such gentle eyes, who would unconditionally and easily accept her capriciousness and unreasonableness, who would make her smile when she was feeling down, who would sit beside her quietly when she was hurt, softly whispering comforting word to her and listening to her anger and complaints.

In this world, how could there be another person who would sacrifice their time to help her study, not just one or two days, or even one or two months, or even one or two years. He’d spent all these years with her and finally sent her to a great university.

This person would, without hesitation, skip cla.s.s with her when she wanted to. When he knew she wanted to go to Shanghai, he would, against all odds, take her there. He always gave her the best toys and food. He bought the comics she loved to read, collected the CDs of the celebrities she most liked. He always said he didn’t like to eat pork and would give her the braised pork chops or sweet and sour pork. But actually, he didn’t dislike pork that much. He only did that because he wanted to.

So, she was also willing, because then he would be happy. There weren’t many things that made Gu Mingxi happy, but Pang Qian knew that if she at his pork chop, he would be happy.

Even if she felt she couldn’t finish eating it, she would still work hard to eat it.

Yes, there wouldn’t be another person in this world for whom she would so willingly eat a second porkchop or tenderloin. It was because she liked to see that smile emerge in his eyes and hear him stiffly say, “Pang Pang, you sure can eat.” Just like him, her heart feel be as sweet as honey.